Canton Weekly Register

Our Muse.

THE STAMMERING WIFE.

BY JOHN Q. SAXE.

I.

When deeply in love with Miss Emily Pryne,
I vowed, if the maiden would only be mine,
I would always endeavor to please her—
She blushed her consent, tho' the stuttering lass
Said never a word, except, "You're an ass—
An ass—an ass-iduous teaser!"

II.

But when we were married, I found to my ruth,
The stammering lady had spoken the truth,
For often in oblivious dudgeon,
She'd say—if I ventured to give her a jog
In the way of reproof—"You're a dog—you're a dog—
A dog—a dog-matic curmudgeon!"

III.

And once when I said, "we can hardly afford
This extravagant style, with our moderate hoard,"
And hinted we ought to be wiser,
She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue,
And fretfully cried, "You're a Jew—you're a Jew—
A very ju-dicious adviser!"

IV.

Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and arduous work,
I begged her to go to a neighbor,
She wanted to know why I made such a fuss,
And saucily said, "You're a cus-cus-cus—
You were always ac-cus-tomed to labor!"

V.

Out of temper at last with the insolent dame,
And feeling that Madame was greatly to blame
To scold me instead of caressing;
I mimicked her speech—like a churl as I am—
And angrily said, "You're a dam-dam-dam—
A dam-age instead of a blessing!"