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Letter to Editor April 29, 1796

Gazette Of The United States

Philadelphia, Philadelphia County, Pennsylvania

What is this article about?

Satirical letter mocks a congressional speech by an orator, criticizes figures like 'Caius' and 'Jack Stanza' for poor arguments and past associations, highlights a merchant's dilemma due to risky policies, and urges unity with virtuous northern states while separating from southern gamblers and slave-keepers.

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Full Text

real men, yesterday, in the House of Representatives. I hope his speech hath been carefully taken down, that his elegant and sublime comparisons may be published with accuracy and precision. How beautifully harmonious to observe the melody of the sound transcended by the copiousness and justness of his arguments! But what gave his sound reasoning and voice and action a till higher zest, was in to find old grinning Caius (immediately after the mellifluent orator had concluded) mouthing some whimsical aid remarks, which he had distilled out of H'Albert's old Gin-Still, at the foot of the Allegheny mountain. Yet there can be no doubt but this full-aged bog-trotter had see, his Darlings in Congress, as well as in Braddock's field, who listened with avidity to this son of "treasons and stratagems dire," and amongst these our —remember, alias Jack Certificate, alias the little monster of ingratitude, was one of his prime hearers and applauders. I think Jack Stanza is almost done over--for if he once as subtle State will not return him, at the next general election, to his primitive political nothingness: but even till he nothing more than a mere narrative comet they have all deserted him; and I am much mistaken if then I suppose the compliant Sharp will, out of respect to Jack's father, invest the Son with the Family Coat of Arms, and perhaps out of gratitude to Skunk, and his speech-writing friend, the Doctor, commissionate and appoint my dear Johnny, Dictator to the Club of Inspectors at Guzzle Hall. In the mean time, until the fate-deciding vote is taken in the House, what a dilemma is my merchant in! For, by the best account, he cannot have less than 100,000 of merchandize now lying on board vessels he can neither sell his — for nor obtain Insurance for his vessels in this harbour, bound for England, which all risks, nor suffer it to depart uncovered, and consequently unprotected; besides immense property afloat, lying at the hazardous issue of his and his beloved colleagues crooked and damned policy. Is such-a man (if man he can be deemed) as this, fit to rule and mar the happiness of this great and growing empire? Look around you, countrymen—The notable hint is thrown out from the hardy sons of the East. Let us unite with virtuous States,—and be a wall of defence and a bulwark to each other, and for all honest men. The season of Danger says "'tis time to Part" from Gamblers, Slave-Keepers, and Italian Gladiators—and then (the Sooner the better) let "their wisdoms and betterness" set up a single branch government to the Southward, whereat Great Albert Shall shine the illustrious Prince of Darkness, anarchy and delusion, and little Johnny be his Scribe.

Dr. Franklin.

WIGWAM.

What sub-type of article is it?

Satirical Political Provocative

What themes does it cover?

Politics Economic Policy Slavery Abolition

What keywords are associated?

Congress Speech Political Satire Merchant Dilemma State Unity Election Criticism Braddock Field Slave Keepers

What entities or persons were involved?

Dr. Franklin. Wigwam.

Letter to Editor Details

Author

Dr. Franklin. Wigwam.

Main Argument

the letter satirically criticizes corrupt politicians and their harmful policies, particularly affecting merchants, and calls for northern states to unite against and separate from southern gamblers, slave-keepers, and gladiators to protect honest men.

Notable Details

Mockery Of Orator's Speech And Caius's Remarks Distilled From 'H'albert's Old Gin Still' Reference To Braddock's Field And 'Treasons And Stratagems Dire' Pseudonyms Like Jack Certificate, Jack Stanza, Little Monster Of Ingratitude Merchant's Dilemma With 100,000 In Merchandise Uninsured Due To Policy Urging Separation From 'Gamblers, Slave Keepers, And Italian Gladiators'

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