The Daily Advertiser

Mr. CHILDS,

As you are so obliging to make your paper the public channel of useful and pleasing intelligence, I hope you will insert the following lines, in which you will do a favor to a lover of Regular Observance.

On my way last Sunday to church, I seen several persons going into a tavern, in one of the leading streets of this city, with evident marks of displeasure, and some warmth of expression. I asked a little yellow ill-looking fellow (whom I supposed to be master of the house) how he would presume to admit persons to drink in time of divine service? He replied, with the usual insolence of such fellows, that a Bacchanalian society was instituted in his house; that, as he had his religion to choose, he was not averse to it; and as he thought a tavern the most proper temple for such service, he freely admitted them. The temple was to be dedicated that morning, and if I thought proper, I might view the ceremony. I accordingly (impelled by curiosity) walked in, and was ushered into a very large room, in general set apart for more rational entertainment, and thus the Bacchanals commenced:--The Bacchanalian sacrificer, headed the votaries of the Deity, and approached a large table well covered with different wines. He then, vested in his robes, invoked the Deity with copious libations of port, when, he was immediately seized with an uncommon trembling, that his humble assistants seized in like manner by the spirit of Bacchus, were scarcely able to place him on a couch, where he swooned away, whilst they slept. A lusty old man, whom I took to be the verger, placed coffee on a stool, strongly impregnated with the spirits of wine, to incense the altar, and purify the minister, who after a short repose thus addressed the God:--My God, and my all, we humbly invoke thy powerful assistance, to dedicate this temple worthily to thy gracious name; long have I faithfully served thee, do thou O son of Jupiter! grant me strength to persevere to the end, and may those my assistants be always pleasing in thy sight; make the press groan to furnish thy altar with precious juice, and enable all your votaries to drink greedily of them in glory and honor of thee. Come then jolly mortals fill bumpers to the God, let the bottles go round, and the jingling glasses sound in honor of mighty Bacchus.

The ceremony was interrupted, by an uncommon noise at the door; when behold! Lais, as white as snow, accompanied by thirty votaries of Venus, preceded by some dancing Cupids, with all due reverence approached the shrine, and after devoutly sacrificing to the God, in the largest goblets of sparkling Champaigne, thus addressed the attentive Priest. "Oh! God-like Dervise, behold at thy feet the humblest slave of Venus beseeching to thee to sacrifice once more to your God in behalf of his mighty sister, that as he is so devoted to his cause, he may be pleased to admit her as a partner of his glory." Raise thou fair one, replied the admiring divine, I know right well the will of my master, thy petition is granted, I myself have often witnessed your zeal for him and your assiduous toils in the service of the other; quaff this liquor in honor of him and I will ratify his consent with a loving kiss on your ruby lips; from hence forward therefore, my learned friends, this temple shall be sacred to the mighty Bacchus, and endearing Venus; for ye right well know, that sine Cerere et Baccho, frigit Venus. On you it is incumbent to explain this Latin verse, and to me is reserved the comment in the Court of Venus, let Smith be called to make a maiden lock and let this house no longer be profaned. Thus the dedication ended, and in a few days the venereal gambols will commence.