The Northwest Times

Oh, These Men!
By CINDERELLA

Just overheard this. I swear it, in the ladies' washroom.
Four girls were discussing their favorite topic -and mine too—MEN!
"Men are dears. I wouldn't know what to do without em. but sometimes they make me so darned mad!" said a petite blonde, shaking her long silky hair out of her eyes— her eyes now bright with righteous indignation.
"I don't want to be considered an intellectual. but we do have brains!"
"Men-they think they're the only ones who understand. or are capable of understanding higher mathematics. politics or business. Have you ever heard a man discussing his wife and her budgeting with anything but a patient, aggrieved, martyred air?
"Men-they harbor strange misconceptions. They cling to them with tenacity. One is that women are worse drivers than men. when statistics have proven over and over again that it's quite the reverse. But do you think they'll admit it? And the one about women being gossips! Have you ever heard men together?
Just try saying 'I know something about Mary Jones. that slick-looking chick Jack took out the other night,' and male ears will quiver like those of an Alsatian picking up the scent. What the male discusses is news'-what the female discusses is 'gossip'. I don't get it," concluded the blonde.
The dark-eyed one tracing her lips vermillion red. paused to add:
"And don't forget the classic one about an unmarried gal being an old maid. It's quite alright for a man to stay single as long as he wants to—he's such a good guy! But women? Oh no! Frustrations, you know! I could really hit men over their heads for that one!"
Over the noise of a streaming tap. the third girl retorted: "I wish men were more conscious of good manners. I can put up with Humphrey Bogart snarling through his teeth at his Baby for several reels of film. but I can't stand a man who is monosyllabic. who considers conversation a one-sided affair, relegated to womanhood washing diapers and housework."
"Yes." answered a tall, slim. red-head. "check and double check. After a show. you say. 'Wasn't Bette Davis wonderful!' and he mumbles 'Yeh.' So you say, 'I guess there are women as mean as Bette in that movie' and you get a 'well. I dunno. . . ' You clutch at the next nearest thought. like a drowning man for a handhold: 'How's business?' The bright lad comes forth with 'Busy'. And you breathe a deep sigh of relief and say to yourself. At last. at last. . . something to discuss' and continue 'Tell me about it.' and he withers you with 'O. you wouldn't understand!
"I guess these are small things but long. untidy hair, brilliantly pomaded hair, grimy nails. baggy trousers and chewing gum will make me cool to a date faster than anything else." said a quiet brunette
"If I can't be proud of my escort. I refuse to go out with him.'
"Gee. I think I'll give my boy friend a copy of Emily Post for his birthday. He's a nice guy but he sure needs polishing." contributed a dreamy-eyed teenager."Imagine calling me up with a dumb line like 'Hello. guess who?' And he's always forgetting to help me off and on streetcars, and I practically have to shove him to the outside of the sidewalk when we go walking."
"H'm." said the blonde. "that's mild. I have a date who says I'll pick you up at eight-thirty—and so eight-thirty comes around and I'm tapping my fingers and wondering. At nine-thirty. he shows up with no logical excuse but "Sorry. I was busy.' Not once. not twice but always —and goodness knows there are telephones around. And when I'm late just once. I hear about it!"
"I don't expect a man to be a clothes horse, but I like him to dress fittingly for the occasion and let me dress likewise so that we won't be embarrassed," said another gal "I sure hate the kind that phones me to ask me out for a cup of coffee. and wind me up at a swanky place. feeling like a fool in flats, sweater and skirt, while women glittering in sequins look down the side of their noses at me. Or. I get all dressed to the teeth, dab a bit of perfume behind my ear—and OK, I'll admit it—hope that we'll make a stunning couple. and he turns up in a sweat shirt and jacket."
"And it's not only clothes." continued the dark-eyed one. adjusting a crooked stocking seam. "Once you get to a dance. your escort sees an old croney half-way across the dance floor, leaves you with 'O. there's Jim. I'll be right back, dear and forgets to come back. He doesn't even have the decency to introduce you to other people before running off—and you're left to navigate by yourself!"
"And introductions seem to have gone out of style. I dread going out with some boys because they'll meet some group they know. get really palsy-walsy with them. and carry on long conversations while I stand around like a bump on a log. wondering when he's going to get around to acknowledging me," remarked the brunette. "And likely as not, he'll decide it's time to get in a dance or two. jerk you away with "That's Jim and Doug and their girl friends—they're swell You should get to know them!'
"Every girl likes to feel feminine Sure, you can laugh, but it's true It's a wonderful feeling to think a lad has planned a whole evening all by himself with you in mind. But usually, if it's not a special dance or community affair. the date who proposed the evening will turn to you and say 'Well, what shall we do?' A whole hour is wasted while you disagree. After all, it's much easier for the man to decide—he knows exactly how much he wants to spend"
"Oh MEN." said the tall. slim red-head. "they're so conceited!"
"Men, phooey!" said the blonde. the redhead. the brunette in unison
Just then, the head girl walked into the washroom. "Pst. gals. there's a new man in the boss's office right now!"
"Is he good looking?" "Is he married?" "Is he nice?" and in three minutes flat. I was alone in the washroom.
And in three and a half minutes flat—I wasn't there either
—From New Canadian