The New Hampshire Gazette And Historical Chronicle

From the Boston Gazette of March 30, 1767.

A DIALOGUE, BETWEEN LOBBIN AND
SAWNEY, two COUNTRYMEN that came
to Boston to Market,

LOBBIN.
Good Morrow Friend: Have you bro't down,
For these like Pennies here in Town,
A Sled of Pork as well as I
To give away? For none will buy.

SAWNEY.
The Town I see, is very full
Of Meat, which makes the Market dull;
But I can't tarry long, not I,
The paltry Market here to try,
And so must quickly sell or give away
For at a Distance I do live.

LOBBIN.
How far good Friend, and what's the Name
Of that same Town from whence you came?

SAWNEY.
Our Town is situate from here
To th' Westward Seventy Miles or near,
(As Mile-Stones tell the Traveller,
Which were set up by private Bounty)
B---kf---d by Name in W---r County.

LOBBIN.
And is this Distance, Reason good
Why you don't fetch a bigger Load?

SAWNEY.
A bigger Load I did transport,
Tho' not exactly of the Sort
Of these fat Hogs within the Sled,
For those, you plainly see, are dead;
Whereas the other that I bro't
Left me just now upon the Trot.

LOBBIN.
Why what in Nature was it, pray.
Was't a live Hog that run away?

SAWNEY.
It was, my Friend, ('twixt you and me)
A human Creature such as we.

LOBBIN.
Some trolling Beggar, I conclude,
Or pocky Bunter, fat and rude,
Who, should she try, wou'd be put to't,
To ride a Horse, or go a-foot.

SAWNEY.
No that it wan't, you fancy Clown,
The D-p-ty 'twas of our Town;
F-----r his Name; we call him 'Squire;
His Christian-Name is- J-d-d-h.

LOBBIN.
This Load, I guess, tho' you don't tell it,
Is his, and so he came to sell it.

SAWNEY.
'Twas better Bus'ness bro't him down,
Than driving Pork along the Town;
He came to Court; why don't you know
The gen'ral Court is sitting now?

LOBBIN.
To Court d'you say! bles me! I swore,
I never heard the like before!
Was there no Horse fit to ride on,
That he must on a Sled be drawn?

SAWNEY.
He has a Horse himself, or Mare,
But Horse-keeping, you know, is dear,
And so he e'n concludes from thence
To ride a Sled and save Expence.
And here I guess (and hope 'tis true)
He had the public Good in View:
For He, I've always understood,
Has ever sought his Country's Good:
Wou'd never vote a Grant too large,
For Fear of height'ning public Charge:
In our late Struggles for our Rights,
And in the warm and angry Fights
Between the G-----r and House,
He's always stuck like Body-Louse.

LOBBIN.
Well You may try what'er You can,
To save the Credit of the Man,
But I declare he is a Fool,
Or has a mean contracted Soul:
He is, 'tis plain, a scurvy D---n
To ride to Boston on a Hog,
And all t'attend the gen'ral Court,
Where only Gentlemen resort.
And since his ill-tim'd Stinginess,
Upon your Town has bro't Disgrace,
Nay on the Court and Country too,
I hope he soon will have his Due;
On's Knees be forc'd to ask their Pardons
A Punishment he can't think hard on.

SAWNEY.
This Journey of our 'Squire to Court,
I fear will make a deal of Sport,
For all the way as we came down,
The Boys in almost ev'ry Town,
Would stare, and bawl, "As I'm alive,
"There's B---kf---d R-----z-----c!"