The Gazette

Little children, gather round me.
As you know, you've always found me

Just a little more than willing any
moral yarn to spin,
And the more adult attention, I might
also just here mention.
I would like to have a moment. If
you're ready, I'll begin.
It is but a simple story, not gunpow-
dery or gory,
But quite eminently peaceful-If
you've heard the tale before,
You can politely say so-I don't think
so, but you may, so,
Do not hesitate a moment; I'm not
likely to feel sore.
I would never tell a story if I thought
that it would bore.
Well, this day, the twenty-second, by
some people has been reckoned
Most auriferous, or golden, in the
calendar of days.
It's the birthday of the person that I
write this dainty verse on--'
Of George Washington, whose con-
duct was a thing beyond all
praise.
Him you certainly have heard of. It
is really quite absurd of
All his chroniclers to leave out what
I'm going to relate,
But it's better late than never, so at
once I will endeavor
A short anecdote concerning
him
concisely to relate.
Its diameter
was something like three feet, I
understand
I am coming to it shortly. You will
not have long to wait.
It appears that there was growing in
the orchard a fine, blowing
Cherry tree, the pride and glory
of young George's father's
heart,
And the boy-Yes, he was young then.
If you'd only hold your tongue,
then,
Once secure from interruption,
I
perhaps might get a start.
Well, the boy, as I was saying, once was
through the orchard straying.
With a new and shining hatchet itch-
ing in his little hand,
And the cherry tree espying, thought
he might as well be trying
Of its sharpness on that tree, which
his fond parent thought so
grand;
Its diameter was something
like
three feet, I understand.
So he hewed and hacked, untiring,
though his forehead was per-
spiring
With the heat of the exertion, till
the tree fell crashing down.
When his father, stern appearing, set
him for his comfort fearing.
For the massive brow paternal wore
a well-known trunk-strap frown,
"Who did that?" inquired the father.
Said young George: "Dear sir,
I cannot tell a lie,
Future greatness prophesying for
a
boy who thought that lying
Was a wicked, shocking habit of the
most debasing kind.
For the massive brow paternal wore a well
known trunk-strap frown,
Fathers do not usually with
young
George's parent tally,
I admit, I think the chances are that
some would take a gad
Or a switch or strap or slipper to the
mischievous young nipper,
Who, in spite of all his candor, acted
in a manner bad,
I think any such procedure would
make me just hopping mad.
Just so-might have-been-expected,
George grew up and was elected
To be president--He also licked the
British, as you know,
Or you ought to. No persuasion ever
made him seek evasion
Of a clean-cut campaign issue-That,
of course, was long ago.
If opposed to telling lies you are
I could not now advise you,
As a friend of yours, to start on a
political career.
For though Washington ne'er paltered
with the truth, the times are
altered,
And a neat, judicious fibber, judging
by some people queer,
Who are legislating for us, is not set
back much, I fear.
We should learn by this narration to
avoid prevarication,
Then the father fond caressed him and unto
his bosom pressed him
All mendacious taradiddles, quibbles,
falsehood and conceit:
Any species of dissembling we should
shun in fear and trembling.
And a yarn that is apocryphal we never
should repeat.
Though the truth may be a trial when
we know a smooth denial
Will prevent some present trouble,
still the truth we ought to tell.
That poor, crushed, downtrodden lady
who is kept so very shady,
Let us grab hold of the windlass
crank and haul her from the
well-
Sell our fish for fertilizer if we've
ancient fish to sell.
So, to-day, from toil abstaining, there's
no cause for our complaining
That the Father of his Country was
unable to misstate.
If he'd storied when he'd cut that
tree, it's rather long odds but
that
His posterity would have never have
thought fit to celebrate.
I am glad I heard this story so re-
dounding to his glory:
I am glad, that I remembered it to