Southern Christian Advocate

Family Government

Columns of newspapers and volumes of books have been written on this subject, and to very good purpose in many cases. But after all, the secret is more in a nut-shell than is commonly supposed. The greatest secret in the whole matter consists in being a truly good parent.-- Your children see you in your domestic carelessness. They know the real character, of their parents better than persons do who live in other houses and who only see you when you are on your guard. If they find their parents unkind to each other, or failing in any way to maintain in private, the characters which they assume in public, their respect is gone,--their confidence is broken down. If your child has ever known you to be guilty of telling a lie, how can you govern him? If he knows you have cheated a neighbour, how can you govern him? If he sees you in public putting on the air and manner, and claiming to be a Christian, while in his close watchings he sees that you are full of pride, and vanity, and bitter feelings, and ambition, and covetousness; that all your religion goes off at the corner of the streets, and none of it in your bed-chamber; how can you govern your child?
First, then, be a good man, and a good father. Secondly, govern yourself, always, and without the least degree of unfair charity towards yourself. The laws you enact for your children, never break yourself. If you break out with bad passion and excuse yourself, you must certainly be as generous to your children, and excuse them for the same fault in the same way. How can you govern your children if you cannot govern yourself?
Thirdly, let all your requirements be just and generous; never given for your own good, but always for the good of your children.
Fourthly; spare no pains--give yourself no rest in body or mind, while any thing remains to be done which can enlighten the understanding or sweeten the affections of your children.
Fifthly, let all your orders be wisely given, and then maintain them at all hazards. Never in one instance allow your word to fail. Trust chiefly to kindness and persuasion, and reasoning, and use punishment of any sort as little as possible. But let it always be understood that obedience, full and entire, must be yielded to your directions, and that you will though with great considerateness and affection, never slacken your hands nor relax your demands until such obedience is rendered.
Mind these rules, and with very little severity in any way, you will seldom fail of securing all the benefits of a reciprocally affectionate and well-ordered family.