West Jersey Pioneer

The "RAI
Here's your great gift cash prize
candy, only 50 cents. Each box contains
greenbacks, jewelry, or coin, worth from
$10 to 50 cents--and only 50 cents a
chance--who'll have a box?" said a vol-
uble youth, as he entered the rear car
of an up-train, on the Camden and At-
lantic Railroad, one day last week.

One of a party of gay youths drew
forth 50 cents, and invested. He opened
the box, and found, as the prize, an im-
mense brass breastpin, about the size of a
policeman's star. Its appearance was so
suggestive, that it was immediately affixed
to the lappel of his coat

"Try another box, sir," said the seller,
"you seldom have good luck with the
first."

Thus urged, he invested another 50
cents, and this time the prize was a pair
of brass bracelets, resembling hand-cuffs
more than anything else.

"Keep on, Tom, and you may draw
the locust next," said one of his friends.

At this juncture, a slight disturbance
occurred between two individuals at the
upper end of the car.

"Police!" shouted one of Tom's
friends.

"Yes, we have a special officer here,
and I call on him to preserve order,"
said another.

Thus appealed to, Tom left for the
front, backed by his company, and con-
fronted the most noisy of the disturbers
of the peace.

"Come, sir," said he, "you must pre-
serve order here, or I shall be, under the
imperative necessity of arresting you."

"And who the blazes are ye?" said
the violator of order.

"Why, can't you see he is a police.
man?" queried one of the party. "Tom,
put the bracelets on him if he don't be-
have himself."

"And who made yees a policeman?"

"Major-General Jim Scovel."

"And who is he?"

"Why, sir, he is a firm friend of the
proud bird of American liberty, that flaps
his wings in triumph over the sacred
soil of the commonwealth of New Jersey."

"And has he anything to do with the
Jersey lightning?

"No, sir. But I see you have been
entirely too familiar with its seductive
and enervating influence."

"And do yees know Mayor Fox?"

"Yes. And Sam Josephs, and Doc.
Kamerly, and Mully, and Slushy, and
Titty, and Bunny, and all the other boys
on the square."

Well, if yees know all them gentle.
men, ye ought to be on the police. But
what do you mean by the square? Get
in the ring, my boy, and you'll find it is
a great deal easier. Now, there's Evans"

"Oh, never mind him. You are a
disturber of the peace of this great State
and it is my duty to apply the corrective."

"And what are yees going to do wid
me?"

"Merely to endeavor to solve a prob-
lem--and that is, ascertain whether your
equilibrium is horizontal or perpendic-
ular."

"Oh, if that is all, I would as soon
take a drink wid you as any other man."

Tom and his friends assisted him to
the rear platform, where a slight impetus
laid him at full length upon the sand.

"Horizontal!" cried the party, in
chorus.

The train started, and we had not time
to ascertain whether he found lodgings
in a marl bed or made his matrimonial
meal in a melon patch. - Sunday Times.