The Home Journal

Essay on Tobacco, by a Small Boy.

Tobacco grows something like cabbage; but I never saw none of it boiled, although I have eaten boiled cabbage and vinegar on it, and have heard men say that cigars that was given to them on election day for nothing was cabbage leaves. Tobacco stores are mostly kept by wooden Injuns, who try to fool little boys by offering them a bunch of cigars which is glued into the Injun's hand and is made of wood also. Hogs do not like tobacco, neither do I. Tobacco was invented by a man named Walter Raleigh. When the people first saw him smoking they thought he was a steamboat, and as they had never seen a steamboat they were frightened. My sister Nancy is a girl. Don't know whether she likes tobacco or not. There is a young man by the name of Leroy who comes to see her. I guess she likes Leroy. He was standing on the steps one night and he had a cigar in his mouth, and he said he didn't know as she would like it, and she said, "Leroy, the perfume is agreeable." But the next morning, when my big brother Tom lighted his pipe, Nancy said, "Get out of the house you horrid creature the smell of tobacco makes me sick."

Snuff is human coal, made out of tobacco. I took a little snuff once, and then I sneezed.