The Hazel Green Herald

OUR WASHINGTON LETTER.

A Strange Kentuckian.

I have met a strange man here from the green hills of Harlan, who is the strangest man in the city of Washington. His heart is dried up to every emotion except the love of money. He is a Treasury clerk, and it may be that his work fosters his natural love for money. He gets a salary of $100 per month, $50 every 15 days and spends not a dollar for pleasure during the year. He mends his socks and under clothes, and would launder his shirts if there was a stove in his room. He takes the soap, a brown bad smelling kind, from the Department to shave with. His 50-cent razor is worn out but he suffers untold misery rather than buy another. He owns no comb or brush, never buys blacking but depends upon others. Invited to an excursion last summer down the Potomac, he made his landlady put up a lunch. He went in bathing with a comely lady, enjoyed her society all day, and spent not one cent upon her pleasure, and complained in the evening that he had to pay for a ticket on the boat. He has attended the theatre only twice in three years, and then had complimentary tickets. He invited a young lady to take a ride with him, and she was delighted to go, supposing that he intended to get a buggy and fast horse and glide over the smooth roads that surround Washington. But he cooled her ardor when he informed her that they would go on the Belt Line street railroad, and that the trip would only cost her five cents. He would not put his overcoat on the bed last winter when the bed clothes were light, for fear of wearing it out. After three years' use, he spent a day mending it this fall. He has taken a law course and peddled the invitations to correspondents to his Washington acquaintances rather than spend postage. Keeps his dictionary locked in his trunk for fear some one would use it. When he uses it himself, he only bends the backs on an angle of 45 degrees for fear of injuring the book. Would not answer a young lady's note last summer because it would cost him two cents. Looks at and feels the fruit on the stands along the streets and a gentleman refused to go walking with him on account of this, as he never buys any. Mends his shoes with nails picked up wherever he can find them. Will not go to see his aged parents in Kentucky, though the government gives him 30 days vacation and $100 salary during the time, because it will cost him $10 more than to remain in Washington the same length of time. There are a hundred other things to be mentioned and they are all true, for my information comes from the best source—gentlemen who associate with him, for he is a stranger comparatively to me. He is a miser. Kentuckians boast of their generosity, but the hills of Harlan has produced a man who will 'skin a flea for its hide and tallow.'

If John D. White had known him, and if the government now knew him, I do not believe he could hold his place. Of course he is a rabid republican.

One of the cleverest and most capable men in the Surgeon-general's office is J. S. Johnson, of Breathitt county. He has been confined to his room, by severe illness, for nearly a month, but he is now fast improving, and his doctor tells him he will soon be able to sit up and go about. He ate his Thanksgiving turkey at the table. Had he not been out of the office so long, his friends would induce him to show his face to his many friends in Hazel Green. But nothing will keep him from his desk as soon as he is able to do his duty. Scott is the antipode of the man I described above, for I have never met a man readier to do a favor to friend, or readier to forgive a foe.

Washington is beginning to put on a livelier look, the congressmen are now coming in fast, hunting homes for the winter. I had the pleasure of meeting, at the bedside of Mr. Johnson, your congressman, Hon. W. P. Taulbee. Mr. Taulbee is engaged in studying the questions that come up for discussion during this congress. I predict that his clear and resonant voice will be heard in the hall this session, and that it will charm the attention of the members. From what I have seen of him I believe he will be one of the most industrious members of the House, and that he will make his mark. I know that he has made a good impression upon society here already.

Shakespeare says there is nothing in a name but one is surprised at the number of peculiar names found in the public offices of the government. From the pension office, W. A. Whitcomb furnishes me a great number of names, among which are the following: 'Preserved Buck,' 'F. J. Much,' 'P. Helibrick,' 'I. Feather,' 'Dr. Physic Mish,' 'Christian Devil,' etc. There are a great many more equally strange. I send you these so that if your subscribers want strange names for their pay babies they can take their choice. If the list is not varied enough I'll send a certified list to John Evans the postmaster, and those desiring to change the Christian names of their children can apply. I suppose the name 'Christian Devil' found above, would be popular out on Devil's Creek where so many good-looking girls used to live, all of whom, I suppose, have been married long ago.

As soon as congress opens, I'll send you a few notes of the sayings and doings of the people's servants. The death of the Vice President has given rise to a great amount of private as well as public discussion of the Presidential succession. God grant that Cleveland may live out his time.

H. LENTOUS.

John W. Daniel, the eloquent young orator of Virginia, will be Mahone's successor in the U. S. Senate.