The Columbia Herald

The Man About Town.

Next Sunday's dawn will usher into the world the day of the year the most observed-Christmas, the universal festal day. To its coming the little ones have been eagerly looking forward for weeks. To them it is still a glad reality and Santa Claus has not yet become to them a dream of the past. They will hang up their little stockings and go to bed Christmas Eve with the serene faith that the Christmas dawn will find them full to overflowing with good things such as only Old Santa knows how to select. It is a time of glad rejoicing all over the civilized world, but to many, whose childhood idols have been shattered in the battle of life, and who have lived through many Christmases to find their cup of sorrow scarcely less full than at other periods of the year-whose struggle for existence and whose contact with the stern realities of life has left them little time or inclination for enjoyment-it will bring little of pleasure, except it be the satisfaction of seeing others happy. As it is a time of joy and rejoicing, it should be a time of charity. Let those who are warmly clad and have good and comfortable homes, remember, as they sit down to their sumptuous Christmas dinners, that right here in Columbia—perhaps under the shadow of their own elegant homes-are deserving objects of charity. Christmas is a time of giving and receiving. Let not the objects of giving be confined to those from whom you expect to receive, but make glad the hearts and homes of those who are not able to give. "The greatest of these is charity."

With Christmas also comes a season of social gaieties. No doubt during the holidays there will be several germans. A word in regard to the social obligations of the society young men of Columbia will not, I believe, be amiss. It is a fact well known that in every town that is large enough for society to be divided or classified, there are, of course, in the upper circles, very prominent favorites, as there are also, in the same circle those who receive very little attention--far less than is their due. In Columbia these are called "Jonahs." It is an unjust discrimination, but has arisen, probably from the fact that there is a plentitude of young ladies and a scarcity of young men. Nevertheless, the young men are under social obligations to all the young ladies, and they are obligations of which many of the young men are forgetful or indifferent. The former is the more charitable view. The conduct of some of the young men in this respect is the talk of their town. Let this be remedied during the holidays. Give every young lady an opportunity to attend the social affairs of the holidays.

Perhaps no attraction at the Opera House in years has been greeted with a larger, more enthusiastic and appreciative crowd than that which assembled there Thursday night Dec. 15, to hear ex-Gov. Bob Taylor in his famous lecture, "The Fiddle and the Bow." From the graceful and appropriate introduction of the lecturer, by Hon. James A. Smiser, to the Governor's glowing and eloquent apostrophe to Music at the close, the audience thoroughly enjoyed itself. There are not few in Columbia and Maury County who, while admiring Senator Bate, would delight to see Bob come out victor in the coming Senatorial fight.

If I were Santa Claus I would make great many people in Columbia gloriously happy. Nobody's stocking would be found empty on Christmas morning. I would have an eye especially for some of the members and habituees of the Century Club. I would forget none of them-not one. I would give Messrs. J. C. Wooten and J. M. Maves annual railroad tickets to the fishing grounds of Florida and furnish them in advance newspaper accounts of their before-dinner fishing exploits, and charter a train of refrigerator cars to transport home their enormous catches. To the Opera House Syndicate-J. M. Towler Jr., Jno. Cox, W. M. Chaffin and T. G. Settle-I would give a whole bundle of contracts with companies who would put in their appearance on the day specified-but I would leave out the Swedish Concert Company, for private reasons, not derogatory to the company. To Kirk Prawitt I would give a piece of sand-paper that he might reduce the size of his head, and a razor with which he could shave the whiskers off his voice; also a batch of new jokes he could spring on the porter at stated intervals. To Sam Ashton I would give a phonograph with ten cylinders, each repeating verbatim Bob Taylor's lecture on "The Fiddle and the Bow," also at a girl who would never, no never go back on him. To Frank G. Smith I would give a book entitled. "Fish- When They Bite and When They Don't." Dr. J. D. Smith would receive a map of the various pikes leading from Columbia, and a thrilling novel entitled "The Decayed Tooth; or the Dentist's Revenge." Willie Williams would not be overlooked, for I would give him a new face-one that would grow a moustache; also a tabulated pedigree of every horse, mule and jackass in the country. John T. Wooten would receive a new pipe-one that was not old enough to vote. To John F. Walker I would give a bushel of oat meal and a digestion that only needs employment. To Wes Evins I would give a bran-new, 2-for-a-nickle moustache, and a book on the rules of Euchre, which might be read to advantage. S. T. Collins would get a bran, spanking new pack of cigarettes, and Charlie Gamble a ditto. To Fred Gamble I would give the right to make out a list of the "400" of Columbia. To Muinford Kuhn I would give a passport to Price's College for Young Ladies, and A. C. Floyd would get a book on "Billiards -How They're Played." I would give Eugene Anderson an automatic self-acting, non-explosive yard-stick for the Measurement of Calico. To Joe Alford, John Cox, Will Chaffin and Joe Towler I would give maps of the quickest route to Mexico. I would give Dr. Robt. Pillow lots of patients, and to his patients lots of patience. To Jim Smiser I would give clients, although the clients would be the real objects of charity. Pat Southall would receive the best in my shop and A. B. Rains would get a chess board with directions as to how the game is played. Between Morgan Frierson and Bob McKinney I would divide the earth, and semi-divide it into corner lots. Sam Holding would get Old Pete's place on the Supreme Bench, and Edwin Blackburn a job (after the 4th of March.) I would give Joe Anderson a slice of green cheese from the moon. To Lee Epperson I would give a mind that wouldn't change with the weather and Sam Powell would receive a treatise on "Bashfulness-Its Use and Abuse." To A. P. Morgan I would give my congratulations. In fact, I would forget none, from the President down to the porter. If I were Santa Claus I would be liberal not alone to those I have mentioned, but I would make everybody in Columbia happy if in my power.

Freddie Evans writes that he will be home during the holidays. He says the nothingness of things at Union City is appalling, and that he is homesick and longing more to place his number 9's on Columbia soil. Freddie will receive a warm welcome, and will no doubt make society hum when once he gets back into the social whirlpool of Columbia. Among other old familiar faces who will be with us during the holidays is J. Hill Alexander, who will be connected hereafter with the shoe house of A. P. Morgan. Alex has been so long among the Goober-grabbers of Georgia that I am afraid he will require some time to accustom himself to Columbia ways. But none will be more welcome than Hill, and I opine that he is right glad to get back.