Lyon County Times

THE LYON COUNTY TIMES
A MIDNIGHT SENSATION IN KANSAS CITY.

There was a big excitement near Hovelman's store, on East Eighteenth street, a few nights ago. An aged couple and a bull dog reside there, and on the evening in question the peace and quiet of the trio were disturbed by the aggressions of a vagrant cow that "hooked" upon the gate and entered the enclosure. The old gentleman heard the noise made by the cow, jumped out of bed, grabbed his cane, loosed Tiger, and attacked the cow. Now this cow had had a varied experience with all sorts of dogs throughout the city, and was especially proficient in the art of handling a bull dog. So, just as the said bovine tossed Tiger high in the air with her horns, and whisked out the gate with the old man still hanging to her caudal appendage, and beating her to his heart's content with his heavy cane. The old man and the cow went flying down the street, and Tiger, after turning a somersault or two in the air, came down kersouse into the cistern in the yard, the top of which was open.

Now, the old lady, noticing that the noise in the yard had ceased, and wondering at the prolonged absence of her husband, stepped out into the yard to see what was the matter. She heard a splashing of the water in the cistern, and horror of horrors, she thought it was the old man. Yell! well, her shrieks would have drowned out the sound of Gabriel's trumpet, had that angel entered into competition with her. The neighbors, alarmed at her cries, gathered around her at once, and in quite a crowd. "My husband's in the cistern!" she cried. "He can't swim!" "Oh, he'll be drowned." and away went two or three for a ladder. The ladder was brought, placed in the cistern, and a man descended, just as the old gentleman rushed in at the gate. He had heard a block or two away, as he was returning from his chase after the cow, that some one had fallen into the cistern at his house, and he believed it was his wife, for who else could be about there. Seeing the crowd of sparsely dressed neighbors around the cistern (the old lady had swooned away by this time and been carried into the house), he ran into the crowd crying in the greatest agony, "Save her! for God's sake! Oh, my poor wife!" "Save the d-l," exclaimed three or four in a breath; "your wife says that you are in the cistern."

By this time the old lady had recovered sufficiently to resume her hysterical screaming again, and commenced yelling at a greater rate than ever, just as the man who went down into the cistern crawled out and exclaimed, "It's nothing but that d-d dog!" The night was cold, the neighbors had not taken time to dress, and their bodies were cold as their indignation was warm when they learned what had disturbed their rest and dragged them from their beds at such an untimely hour of the night. They had one consolation, however—Tiger was as dead a dog as ever breathless lay.—Kansas City News.