Wheeling Register

"P'tu!" remarked Ragged Haggard, musingly. "If I was contemplatin' matrimony, I'd say I'd found me ideal at last. It was at de Sabbath school picnic, t'other day, which I attended by reason of bein' ketched asleep in a holler log and surrounded before I could make me escape. After dinner, de young lady I'm speaking of filled a bright new pie tin wid water, fished a clean napkin out of de lunch and washed her face. Den she propped her tin up agin a tree, found some flour in de lunch and powdered her face. Next she heated a fork in de fire and curled her bangs, and in a few minutes she stood forth lookin' like a bran new girl. Tell you what, a girl like dat would be contented to live on bread and water wid de man she loved, and furnish de bread herself. And I reckon I'd be competent to hustle aroun' and git de water." —Truth.