Gazette Of The United States

[No. XX.]
THE TABLET.-No. XX.

"However romantic it may seem, it is very true, that there are a sort of people who take great pains to be idle."

It is worthy of remark that men, who have nothing to do, seldom have any leisure; while those, who are in good earnest engaged in business, have spare time enough. The latter have leisure because they do not attend to their own business, but to every thing else; the former want leisure because they attend to their own business, and nothing else. I have among my acquaintance a character of each of these descriptions; one of them is named Arrenrus, the other Ubiquirus. It happened the other morning they both called on me, nearly at the same time.

Arrenrus informed me, that having a little leisure, he had waited on me to adjust an account that lay between us. He tarried but a few minutes, proceeded deliberately, and accomplished what he came for.—Ubiquirus ran up to the door to acquaint me with the great hurry he was in, and to apologize for his not being able to make me a visit; he continued with me upwards of an hour, without having any business, and spent most of the time in lamenting his amazing haste.—It may not be amiss to observe that Arrenrus is largely concerned in mercantile affairs, and is an extensive dealer in West-India goods. No person ever managed his concerns with more method and prudence; and by doing every thing as it ought to be done, and finishing one thing before he begins another, he is at no time in hurry and confusion, and often finds moments of leisure and relaxation.

Ubiquirus, on the other hand, though his whole life is spent in trifles, takes hold even of trifles at the wrong end; engages in many trivial things at once, and finishes no part of what he undertakes. He seems to have no determinate object of pursuit, and his friends are at a loss to conjecture how he employs himself; while he is excellently complaining of the pressure and anxiety, which are occasioned by the multiplicity of his affairs. The reader will form a clearer idea of the difference of these characters, if I relate exactly the conversation that passed the other morning.

Arrenrus called just at nine o'clock, and found me at breakfast. After informing me what he wished, he requested me to take my breakfast leisurely, as he could, without inconvenience, wait a few minutes. I rose from the table and handed him the account I had stated, and mentioned that he could examine it, at his leisure.—"It is my practice," said he, "to complete every thing of this kind on the spot." He soon went through the examination, made his remarks, and was again at leisure. I enquired of him if he knew how the wind stood, and whether the British Packet would sail that day? "I know very well," said he, "how the wind is, because I am looking for a vessel from the West-Indies; but I know nothing of the Packet, as I do not deal at Europe. It runs in my mind, however, that I heard somebody speaking of the matter; but who the person was, or what he said, I do not remember, as I never charge my memory with what does not relate to my own affairs." In examining some papers I was rather slower than common, and desired Arrenrus to excuse me, as I was at the Theatre the evening before, and had not taken my usual hours of sleep. "Theatre," cried he, "are the players in town; how long have they been here?" Six weeks replied I. "Have they indeed," said Arrenrus, "I never heard a word of it before." But, continued I, do you not read the newspapers? "I take the newspapers," answered he, "but I only peruse such parts of them as give information about my particular line of business." It happened in the course of conversation, that I asked him if he had attended the debates of Congress. He told me he had once been in the gallery, that his neighbours should not say he was an Antifederalist; but that he thought the business would go on as well without his company, as with it, and he should attend no more. If you have leisure, said I, you should be present at some of the debates, as they concern the mercantile interest, who in the first instance must pay the duties.

"As to leisure," said he, "I have some, but my attending at the gallery will neither make the duties more or less. I shall find out what they are fast enough. The old duties were laid without my knowledge, but I soon had people ask me to put me in mind of the business. Besides the members of Congress will not stay in my store and watch for customers while I am in their gallery."

Arrenrus was about leaving me, when I mentioned that I would walk a little way with him. "Well," said he, "if you are going my way I have no objection." Just as we were at the door, Ubiquirus came up and interrupted my walk.

He took me by the hand, and with a perplexed countenance, said he never was in such a hurry in his life, that he could scarce stay to apologize for not staying longer. However, while he was making these complaints, he followed me fairly into the house. I urged him to take a chair and tarry a few minutes. "No," replied he, I could not wait ten minutes, if you would give me ten guineas. I have every thing to do this morning. It was my intention to have wrote half a dozen letters before this hour of the day, but I shall not write one before dinner; and after all, shall not find leisure to hear the debates of Congress." I continued to urge him to take a seat and recover a little from his fatigue; but he seemed offended at the request, and fell into a train of conversation that I thought he never would have finished. He held one of the buttons of my coat with his left hand, that my impatience should not force me from him; and extended his right arm, that he might the more emphatically express the necessity of leaving me immediately. As nearly as I can recollect, the following are a few of the remarks and queries he made: "Have you heard of the arrivals at Philadelphia from the East-Indies? There was an excellent play last night, but I could not find time to attend. Do you not think the address from the Methodist Clergy to The President, was modestly done? The Bank I am told are sparing of their discounts nowadays. Who do they talk of as Chief Justice of the United States? I fear I shall lose a beaver hat respecting the issue of the election for governor. What a perplexity it is to be so hurried; you see my hair is not combed, and I suppose my barber will call several times before I can be ready for him. My letters are unanswered for a long while past." But, enquired I, do you not notice your letters as soon as you receive them? Arrenrus tells me he never leaves any thing undone, after the proper time of doing it. "Well he may," replied Ubiquirus, "for he has nothing to do but to take care of his business. The case is quite otherwise with me. I have a whole chest of papers lying in heaps and confusion, and I do not even recollect the contents of half of them." I began to be weary of standing, and as my friend could not tarry long enough to sit down, I proposed a walk by way of relief to myself. Ubiquirus joined in the proposal, and as he had much business abroad, and I had none, I left it with him to direct the course of our rambles. "We will go," said he, "stop! I have so many places to visit I hardly know which to call at first. Upon the whole I will accompany you wherever you please." My walk did not give the relief I expected, for Ubiquirus stopped to speak with so many persons in the streets, that I was almost as still, as before I left the house; and I am not certain I should have escaped from my confinement for several hours, if a gentleman had not invited Ubiquirus to go with him to a billiard table. This suggestion so pleased him, that he took his leave of me, and I did not imagine I should see him again that day. However it happened Ubiquirus and myself were to dine at the same place. I called at the hour of invitation, and none of the company were missing but Ubiquirus. When dinner had waited for him nearly half an hour, he came in so extremely exhausted with the fatigues of the morning, that I feared he had lost his appetite. He expressed a little regret that the company had waited for him, but observed, that they knew so well how difficult it was for him to be exact to his appointments, that no apology was requisite. I perceived, however, that his hurry did not prevent his doing justice to the dinner and wine, and indeed before evening he seemed well satisfied with the position he had taken.