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Page thumbnail for The New Hampshire Gazette And General Advertiser
Story March 16, 1782

The New Hampshire Gazette And General Advertiser

Portsmouth, Exeter, Rockingham County, New Hampshire

What is this article about?

Satirical parody of King George III's speech to Parliament in November 1781, mocking British military setbacks in the American Revolution, including the capture of St. Eustatius from the Dutch and the surrender at Yorktown, while boasting exaggerated victories and proposing absurd laws.

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OCR Quality

95% Excellent

Full Text

From the New-Jersey Gazette.

We have already published the SPEECH of his Britannic Majesty to his Parliament at their meeting in November last, as taken from a London paper. The following comes to us through another channel; and if it was not spoken, perhaps it might as well have been spoken.

My Lords and Gentlemen,

I HAVE thought proper to postpone your meeting 'till this late season that I might have something certain to lay before you from our colonies in rebellion:

It is now twice three years since we have maintained a war, with immense glory to our arms, against that deluded people who, notwithstanding all our measures of lenity and forbearance, are still the dupes of their designing leaders. I hoped to have congratulated you, at the opening of the session, on having put an entire period to the war, and having utterly exterminated that rebellious faction. It is not so—however, I am happy to inform you that my Generals and Admirals have wonderfully supported the glory of the British name in every quarter of the globe.

I have thought it necessary to chastise the insolence of the Dutch Republic, who have had the assurance to trade to the same parts of the world with the faithful subjects of this realm, and even to transport their wares to their own plantations, without our royal consent. My fleets and armies have taken from them the great and fertile island of St. Eustatius: with infinite gallantry and address they came upon it by surprise, pierced to the very top of its rock, and captured the whole garrison, consisting of at least 50 men and much merchandise. But the greatness of the victory is even less than the courage and boldness of the enterprise, on the part of my beloved ministry, which hath shewn the petulant world below that we have no law of nations but what we are pleased to give: My brave Admiral, his lady and son, have thought proper to make all Peers of this realm, for this his gallant exploit, and to endow them with honorable pensions proportioned to their services and their new dignities. But as our ancient and natural enemies, the French, have robbed him of the profits of this expedition, out of which these pensions were to arise, I doubt not but my faithful Commons will make provision for these necessary expenses, with their usual alacrity.

My Lords and Gentlemen,

On the side of America, tho' the rebellion is not yet extinguished, yet, one other campaign, and the usual exertions of my loving Subjects, will give us fair hopes. We have effectually confined the rebel armies to their own continent—they have not been able to advance one foot into the sea, our own victorious troops possessing that element. An intrepid General, with a chosen army, has over-run the southern provinces. With great prudence he took his measures before the rebel force could be collected—with undaunted bravery he executed them, marching all alone through many leagues of dismal and frightful woods, filled with serpents and wild beasts—and with such immense rapidity, that the armed faction could never overtake him till he arrived safe at the side of the sea. There, indeed, I am sorry to inform you, he lost the town of York, with its brave garrison, after a long and most heroic defence. But if, with the assistance of my Parliament, I shall be able to put another army in the same place in the spring, we shall be just where we were—the provinces will have been over-run, and our troops will be in York. The conquest will be the same as it was when, the last summer, this famous city did celebrate it with such loyal applause.

We refer you to the reasonings of our loving and well affected subjects in America, to prove that if we had saved his Lordship and his army, it would have been our great advantage; but to have lost them is infinitely a greater advantage. Therefore, let our courage revive in new and more desperate efforts: But inasmuch as we cannot spare from this our kingdom at home, nor yet buy from Germany, men sufficient to establish an army in every county of the rebel provinces; and inasmuch as one army cannot hold them all at the same time, we recommend it to your serious consideration in this case to make and provide a law—that as, in an ordinary process, the tap of a constable or sheriff is sufficient to make a man a prisoner, so, in this extraordinary one, the passing of a body of men through the rebel countries, or even the landing in any part of them, shall be entitled a conquest, and be sufficient grounds to proceed upon to re-establish our civil government and authority there. The way of arms has been found somewhat tedious. Let us apply to them the omnipotence of this our Parliament. Yea, my Lords, why need you fight when you can make laws.

I have next to inform my faithful Parliament, that the nations of the earth have been vainly attempting to revolt against our sovereign dominions of the sea: and by rebellious combinations, tried neutral confederacies, refusing to acknowledge our undoubted right to regulate the trade and navigation of the world, though our excellent civilians have established a mare clausum, and demonstrated our empire on that element, on such clear reasons as no good Englishman can doubt. For as the ocean floweth all round this island, so, vice versa, this island hath a right to flow all round the ocean: And whereas they think to elude our vigilance, and to defraud our treasury, our royal wisdom hath thought it expedient to establish custom-house officers & admiralty judges at proper latitudes all over the seas, to put in force against these rebels our excellent maritime jurisprudence in this case provided, for the greater behoof and advantage of the commerce of these kingdoms. Every nation shall confess the authority of our puissant Majesty, or shall feel our power: And I have thoughts of calling the Emperor of China to an account, and of laying an embargo upon the city of Pekin, for not paying our duties upon tea, according to law, to the manifest damage of our treasury, and for not buying their tea from hence, as right would have it, but rebelliously gathering it off their own plantations, to the great loss of our loyal East-India company.

As to the combined fleets of France and Spain, they have not been able to extend themselves further than the Channel. As our victorious armies have kept the rebels from marching across the ocean, absolutely restraining them to their own continent, so have our conquering admirals kept these fleets out of the land, and fairly obliged them to confine themselves to the sea.

Gentlemen of the House of Commons,

The proper estimates for the present year shall be laid before you, and I doubt not but your own fellow-feeling in the application of the supplies; will very much help your conception of the necessities of the public. You will never let it out of your mind, that the people grow wanton and rebellious, and so the interests of the State suffer under light taxes, according to the doctrine of some of our good counsellors. Therefore,—as a wise and gracious king ought to do, let me recommend it to you to remember the public good.

My Lords and Gentlemen,

I shall recommend it to your serious consideration to abolish religion; we in this realm have lived so long, and can live so well without any, that it seems against reason for my people to pay for a thing which they never use, and your own prudence will suggest to you how great a help its revenues will be to the growing expenses of our pension list, whether all your eyes are not without reasonable hopes very loyally and lovingly turned. This reverend bench will not object to professing as they practise, they shall be the first upon the list, and have the same pensions continued to them for performing the same services which they have done these many years, eating and drinking from themselves, and voting to me. I doubt not, the world will approve our resolution. For since we have abandoned Christ for Epicurus, the very flourishing state of this empire, and the great success of our arms and councils, sufficiently refute the ancient superstitions of our fathers about providence and virtue.

My Lords and Gentlemen, we rely on your union & dispatch. Our beloved cousin & treasurer will make known to you our further will.

# The King has seen some of Rivington's papers about the beginning of October last.

What sub-type of article is it?

Historical Event Deception Fraud Curiosity

What themes does it cover?

Deception Misfortune Fortune Reversal

What keywords are associated?

American Revolution British Satire Yorktown Surrender St Eustatius Capture King George Speech Parliament Address Military Failures

What entities or persons were involved?

His Britannic Majesty My Generals And Admirals My Brave Admiral An Intrepid General His Lordship

Where did it happen?

British Parliament, American Colonies, St. Eustatius, York

Story Details

Key Persons

His Britannic Majesty My Generals And Admirals My Brave Admiral An Intrepid General His Lordship

Location

British Parliament, American Colonies, St. Eustatius, York

Event Date

November Last

Story Details

Satirical speech by King George III to Parliament boasting of British military glories while ironically highlighting failures like the loss at Yorktown and proposing absurd solutions such as laws declaring conquests without holding territory and abolishing religion to fund pensions.

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