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Story
May 5, 1840
Rutland Herald
Rutland, Rutland County, Vermont
What is this article about?
Eccentric Pennsylvania Supreme Court Judge H. H. Brackenridge, as a young man, responds wittily to a duel challenge from an English officer, refusing on humorous grounds of impracticality and self-preservation.
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OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
DUELLING—ANSWER TO A CHALLENGE.
The eccentric H. H. Brackenridge, one of the Judges of the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania, when a young man, was challenged to fight a duel by an English officer, whom he answered as follows:
"I have two objections to this duel matter: The one is I should hurt you; and the other is lest you should hurt me. I do not see any good it would do me to put a ball through your body. I could make no use of you when dead, for any culinary purpose, as I would a rabbit or a turkey. I am no cannibal to feast on the flesh of men. Why then shoot down a human creature, of which I could make no use! A Buffalo would make better meat. For though your flesh might be delicate and tender, yet it wants the firmness and consistency which takes and retains salt. At any rate it would not be fit for a long sea voyage.
"You might make a good barbacue, it is true, being of the nature of a raccoon or Opossum; but people are not in the habit of barbacuing any thing human now. And as to your hide it is not worth taking off, being little better than a two year old colt. So much for you. As to myself, I do not like to stand in the way of any thing that is harmful. I am under the impression you might hurt me. This being the case I think it most advisable to stay at a distance. If you want to try your pistol, take some object, a tree or a barn door, about my dimensions. If you hit that, send me word, and I shall acknowledge that if I had been in the same place you might also have hit me."
The eccentric H. H. Brackenridge, one of the Judges of the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania, when a young man, was challenged to fight a duel by an English officer, whom he answered as follows:
"I have two objections to this duel matter: The one is I should hurt you; and the other is lest you should hurt me. I do not see any good it would do me to put a ball through your body. I could make no use of you when dead, for any culinary purpose, as I would a rabbit or a turkey. I am no cannibal to feast on the flesh of men. Why then shoot down a human creature, of which I could make no use! A Buffalo would make better meat. For though your flesh might be delicate and tender, yet it wants the firmness and consistency which takes and retains salt. At any rate it would not be fit for a long sea voyage.
"You might make a good barbacue, it is true, being of the nature of a raccoon or Opossum; but people are not in the habit of barbacuing any thing human now. And as to your hide it is not worth taking off, being little better than a two year old colt. So much for you. As to myself, I do not like to stand in the way of any thing that is harmful. I am under the impression you might hurt me. This being the case I think it most advisable to stay at a distance. If you want to try your pistol, take some object, a tree or a barn door, about my dimensions. If you hit that, send me word, and I shall acknowledge that if I had been in the same place you might also have hit me."
What sub-type of article is it?
Biography
Curiosity
What themes does it cover?
Moral Virtue
Triumph
What keywords are associated?
Duel Challenge
Humorous Refusal
Eccentric Judge
H. H. Brackenridge
English Officer
What entities or persons were involved?
H. H. Brackenridge
English Officer
Story Details
Key Persons
H. H. Brackenridge
English Officer
Story Details
Young H. H. Brackenridge receives and humorously declines a duel challenge from an English officer, arguing against the duel on grounds of uselessness in killing and risk to himself.