Fowle's New Hampshire Gazette And General Advertiser

Parnassian Spring.

The BACHELOR's last SHIFT.

O come sweet fifteen, come thirty-five,
Come misses who your charms survive,
Come widows of a social vein,
Who live in hope to try again;
Come honour'd madam, come plain goody,
Of aspect sallow, pale or ruddy;
(With me good sense, good wit, good nature,
Will well supply defect of feature)
Come all, and listen to my ditty;
A bachelor. ah! must I die?
No longer I my cares dissemble,
At thirty-five believe, I tremble,
And here expect a bill of fare,
Which charity is wish'd to spare:
-Of constitution firm and hearty,
I love my country, laugh at party;
Of temper cheerful, kind and pliant;
Not quite a dwarf, tho' far from giant;
Of wit-none think they lack their share,
Of features-almost-regular;
Of worldly means--enough for one;
No pedant, not to books unknown.
Not destitute of signs of grace,
Can shew at church a thoughtful face;
All forms of cruelty detest,
And hate the rancour of a sect;
And pleas'd when merit finds its meed,
Nor envy, if a knave succeed;
Mammon I seek not, nor refuse,
Which pride and ignorance abuse;
Peace, competence, be still in sight,
Three meals a day, sound sleep at night.
--These, ladies, are my chief pretensions,
Which ponder well, I hate pretensions:
Let (pride and coquetry apart)
Each proper female ask her heart.
Should that incline, may her fair hand
Her humble servant's fate command.

A desponding Bachelor.