The Ocala Evening Star

BUYING A BUGLE
(Texas Siftings)
"Mr. Hoffenstein," said Herman, as
he folded up a pair of trousers and
placed them on a pile, "if you don't
haf any objections, I would like to get
from the store avay von efening and
go mit the soldiers
to the Spanish
fort."
"Vell, Herman, I dinks you had bet-
ter keep away from de soldiers," re-
plied Hoffenstein. "und stav vit de
store, beeause, you know, you don't
can't put any dependence mit de sol-
diers. I vill tell you vhy.
Von day vile I was In Vicksburg,
during de var, a
cock-eyed soldier
came into my store mit an olt bugle
in his hand, und he looks around. I
asks him vat he wants, und he buys a
couple of undershirts; den he tells me
to keep his bundle and de bugle be-
hind de counter until he comes back.
After de soldier vent de store out, some
ader soldiers come in und valk
around, vile dey look at de goods.
"'Shentlemen,' I says, 'do you vant
anyding?"
"'Ve are shoost looking to see vot
you haf,' said one uf dem; und afder
a vile anodder savs: 'Bill, shoost look
dere at de bugle; de very ding de cap-
tain told us to get. You know ve don't
haf any bugle in de company for dree
months. How much you ask for dot
bugle?"
"I tells dem dot I can't sell de bugle
because it belongs to a man vot shust
vent out."
"'I vill give you fifty dollars for it,"
says de soldier, pulling hts money out.
"I dells dem dot I don't care to sell,
because it vasn't mine.
"'I vill give you a hundred dollars,"
he says.
"Den he offers me von hundred and
twenty-five dollars. My g-r-racious,
Herman, I vants to sell de bugle so
bad dot I vistles! De soldier tells me
vile dey vos leaving de store if I buy
de bugle from de man vot owns it, dey
vil give me von hundred und twenty-
five dollars for it. I dell dem I vill do
it. I sees a chance, you know, Herman,
to make some money by de oberation.
"Ven de cock-eyed soldier comes in
he says:
"'Get me my bundle und bugle; I got
to go to camp."
"I says: 'My frient, don't yau vant
to sell your bugle?"
"He dell me no; und I says:
"'My little bov, Leopold, vot plavs in
de stors, sees de bugle, and he goes
araundt crying shust as loud as he can,
because he don't can't get it. Six dimes
I takes him in de vard and vips him,
und he comes right back and cries for
de bugle. It shows, you know, how
much irouble a man haf mit a family.
I vill give you ten dollars for it shust
to please Leopold."
"De soldier vont take it, und at last
I offers him fifty dollars, und he says:
"'Vell, I vill dake fifty, because I
can't waste any more time; I haf to go
to de camp."
"After he goes avay, I goes to de
door and vatches for de soldiers vot
vant de bugle, und I says:
"'My friends, I haf got de bugle;"
und dey says:
"'Vell, vy don't you blow it?"
"Herman, I dink vou had better stay
mit de store."