Daily National Democrat

Free Lecture of Phrenologist Stark, at Sacramento.

BY OUR JOE.

Being short of funds—in fact, may say, was particularly hard up—couldn't find "a bit" in any corner of any pocket that graced me under the name of wearing apparel—cast about to see what amusement could be scared up for the evening. Hadn't two bits, of course, so couldn't go to Sam Wells' Melodeon, that was flat. Wasn't good looking enough, or didn't belong to the press, so couldn't pass the "cerberus" of the door Metropolitan. Any how didn't want to see Julia Dean Mayne in the Hunchback. Devilish tired of "Julia in the Hunchback." Ought to get up new title for that play, on the bills how will this do? "Clifford's Love or the Hump-back Father of an Unfortunate Female." Sounds more sensation and will better suit the tastes of the day—I think.

Luckily came across Stiggins. Stiggins says, "Where'er going?" Told him in an absent way, "Nowheres." "Got any money?" says he. Stiggins, you see, has the right of questioning me familiarly, because Stiggins is a bosom friend—a friend in adversity and one to whom I am drawn by a mutual understanding of each other's pecuniary position. "Nary red," says I. "What you going to do this evening?" Clips his words sometimes —particularly after eating oysters—stewed. "Don't know;" says I. "Hard isn't it?" says he. "Two young men of such talents, too. Can't raise four bits. Four paltry bits! I have it," says he. "Free lecture. Thank heaven there is a man who will disinterestedly examine your head, tell you all the good things he possibly can about your character, besides other things not quite so good—and then, too, give you a fine lecture on phrenology— all for nothing. All honor to him. Let's go to hear him." "But," says I, "won't it cost anything?" "Free, free as air," says Stiggins. "Let's patronize him."

Locking arms, went up street the—Church on Sixth street, where the lecturer was holding forth. Pleasant speaker. Phunny man, too, when he wants to. Said everything was governed by law. Law was harmonious. Wondered whether South Carolina was governed by harmonious law. Wondered whether secession was according to law. Had a great mind to ask him before the people. 'Fraid would raise too strong a Union sentiment, which possibly couldn't be quelled. Didn't know what would happen if asked question. Besides he was only speaking phrenologically. Phrenology hasn't got anything to do with secession. Pleasant speaker. Interesting beyond a doubt, and his name is Mr. Stark. He was backed by portraits of some of the most important personages this world has as yet ever seen, living or dead, to which (the "gallery of portraits") he frequently referred to sustain his position. Much taken up with looking at pictures.— Lecturer said there were two theories, one of which we could take or the other—it didn't matter which—to him or to us—it was all the same anyhow. That first, mind built up matter—or in other words, mind produced body—that is, first was mind, after body. And second, the reverse of the proposition, that body built up mind, or first, body afterwards mind. Didn't make any difference which theory we took as far as he was concerned. It was either one or the other, sure; and he didn't know, nor we didn't know which it was—anyhow whichever it was and whichever it wasn't it was all governed by law. Lecturer grew funny in illustrating his theory. To be appreciated must be heard. Glad I came. Portrait gallery worth two bits, and lecture worth, sure, seventy-five cents. Free lecture—so much money lost. When there is really a good thing, people ought to be made to pay. Lecturer then went into physiognomy, and described the peculiarities of the color of hair, the eyes, nose, lips and mouth, etc. Time was precious, and could only touch on the mountain tops of the great world of this science. Illustrated with a kind of dissolving view. Made a face, painted in oil—good looking face. amiable and kind—intellectual face—turn into half a dozen different expressions. Convincing and very funny.— showed two faces—one an intelligent Vandyke—the other after the style of Von Sour Krout's great painting of "The Lummux." Held 'em up and asked the boys which was wise man? which was fool? Small boys thought Vandyke wise man—Lummux, fool. Rather uncertain about it myself, for didn't know but that it was a sell: didn't know but that the Vandyke was the fool and Lummux the wise man. Stiggins said it was a sell and he'd bet two to one on the Lummux. But it turned out that the boys were right, at which I heard a long sigh of relief.— Don't like to have it known was mistaken. Hurts pride. Lecturer said, black eyes and course hair, murderers and criminals. Black eyes and fine hair, deceitful men with strong deep passions. Looked at Stiggins. Eyes dark and so was hair. Stiggins, I'll have to keep a sharp lookout on you. Light eyes and light hair indicative of light, intellectual, effervescent mind. Grey eyes—and here the lecturer became tragic—were the sure indicatives of highwaymen and cool calculating villains. Stiggins, looked at me sharp. Says he "old fellow, I never want to meet you on the highway in a dark night and nobody near." "Why?" says I. "Because you've grey eyes!" says he. Now, there never was a man in this world, perhaps, whose thoughts were farthest from such a crime. Nothing but courtesy toward lecturer restrained me from expressing my opinion. Knew he didn't mean anything personal. Kind o' thought though didn't know what might come to do under existing state of financial depression. Lecturer closed by examining several heads and telling the truth about 'em, much to everybody's satisfaction. Lecture and fun then dried up, and everybody went away pleased. In conclusion, he gives three more lectures, charging one dollar. Guess won't go.