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Poem
March 4, 1774
The New Hampshire Gazette And Historical Chronicle
Portsmouth, Greenland, Rockingham County, New Hampshire
What is this article about?
A satirical poem where Chloe laments being overlooked for husbands despite her elaborate efforts to dress attractively, while widows succeed. An answer advises her to cultivate her mind to find a spouse.
Clipping
OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
To every ancient unmarried Person of the feminine gender, & to all Ladies who are desirous
to get Husbands.
The Neglected Maid's Lamentation.
A Tale.
Poor CLOE lives pensive, cast down and dejected,
Because she's so slighted, and so much neglected.
--"O tell me the Reason! O pray tell me why
The WIDOWS get Sweet-Hearts and I am pass'd by!
They leave me at Home, and they treat me with scorn,
And I am unpity'd! forsaken! forlorn!
The WIDOWS all welcom'd, respected, caress'd,
They're sweetly saluted---their Bosoms are press'd!
Each Heart is transported, with Joy how it jumps!
Whilst here I sit moping alone in the Dumps.
I've made use of all Methods! I've try'd every Thing,
On purpose myself into Favour to bring;
But all prove abortive; for when I have done,
Of Sweet-Hearts, I never---O never! get one:
Myself with fine Clothing on Sunday I rig;
And trim up my Carcass so neat and so trigg:
I put my fine Shoes on, and fine yellow Gown,
And equally dress from my Toe to my Crown.
With Meal Dust and Tallow I trim up my Hair,
And spangle with Ribbands so neat and so rare:
The green and the yellow, the white and the red,
Are fix'd in due order, and pinn'd on my Head.
With Jewels my Ears do I likewise adorn,
The finest and dearest that ever were worn.
I go to my Glass and there fix on my Tucker;
And cock up my Mouth in it's Sabbath-Day's pucker:
And then having fixed up my Person so neat,
I walk as genteelly to Church thro' the Street.
My Mother she always does give me this Charge,
To be careful and see that I step not too large;
I keep her Directions and constantly mind,
That my Heels do not kick up my gown-tail behind.
When at Church, my fine Rings to Advantage to Place;
My Fingers I hold by the side of my Face;
I try to my utmost, I do all I can,
To dazzle the Eyes of some silly young Man.
I torture my Body with Whalebone and Wood,
To make me look slender, in Misery I've stood;
So tight I go girded that oft Times I swoon.
And always am glad when the Parson has done.
And then I trip Home as genteel as before,
But am still unsuccessful, and still must deplore!
'Tis the want of a Husband that makes me complain;
'O can you tell CLOE how one she may gain?"
ANSWER.
POOR Cloe! you own it has been your whole study,
To dress, to trim up, to embellish your Body.
When once you've as richly adorn'd your Mind,
I doubt not but quickly a HUSBAND you'll find.
to get Husbands.
The Neglected Maid's Lamentation.
A Tale.
Poor CLOE lives pensive, cast down and dejected,
Because she's so slighted, and so much neglected.
--"O tell me the Reason! O pray tell me why
The WIDOWS get Sweet-Hearts and I am pass'd by!
They leave me at Home, and they treat me with scorn,
And I am unpity'd! forsaken! forlorn!
The WIDOWS all welcom'd, respected, caress'd,
They're sweetly saluted---their Bosoms are press'd!
Each Heart is transported, with Joy how it jumps!
Whilst here I sit moping alone in the Dumps.
I've made use of all Methods! I've try'd every Thing,
On purpose myself into Favour to bring;
But all prove abortive; for when I have done,
Of Sweet-Hearts, I never---O never! get one:
Myself with fine Clothing on Sunday I rig;
And trim up my Carcass so neat and so trigg:
I put my fine Shoes on, and fine yellow Gown,
And equally dress from my Toe to my Crown.
With Meal Dust and Tallow I trim up my Hair,
And spangle with Ribbands so neat and so rare:
The green and the yellow, the white and the red,
Are fix'd in due order, and pinn'd on my Head.
With Jewels my Ears do I likewise adorn,
The finest and dearest that ever were worn.
I go to my Glass and there fix on my Tucker;
And cock up my Mouth in it's Sabbath-Day's pucker:
And then having fixed up my Person so neat,
I walk as genteelly to Church thro' the Street.
My Mother she always does give me this Charge,
To be careful and see that I step not too large;
I keep her Directions and constantly mind,
That my Heels do not kick up my gown-tail behind.
When at Church, my fine Rings to Advantage to Place;
My Fingers I hold by the side of my Face;
I try to my utmost, I do all I can,
To dazzle the Eyes of some silly young Man.
I torture my Body with Whalebone and Wood,
To make me look slender, in Misery I've stood;
So tight I go girded that oft Times I swoon.
And always am glad when the Parson has done.
And then I trip Home as genteel as before,
But am still unsuccessful, and still must deplore!
'Tis the want of a Husband that makes me complain;
'O can you tell CLOE how one she may gain?"
ANSWER.
POOR Cloe! you own it has been your whole study,
To dress, to trim up, to embellish your Body.
When once you've as richly adorn'd your Mind,
I doubt not but quickly a HUSBAND you'll find.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Ballad
What themes does it cover?
Love Courtship
Satire Society
Moral Virtue
What keywords are associated?
Neglected Maid
Husband Hunting
Vanity Dress
Adorn Mind
Widows Courtship
Satirical Lament
Poem Details
Title
The Neglected Maid's Lamentation.
Subject
To Every Ancient Unmarried Person Of The Feminine Gender, & To All Ladies Who Are Desirous To Get Husbands.
Form / Style
Rhymed Couplets
Key Lines
"O Tell Me The Reason! O Pray Tell Me Why
The Widows Get Sweet Hearts And I Am Pass'd By!"
I've Made Use Of All Methods! I've Try'd Every Thing,
On Purpose Myself Into Favour To Bring;
'Tis The Want Of A Husband That Makes Me Complain;
'O Can You Tell Cloe How One She May Gain?'
Poor Cloe! You Own It Has Been Your Whole Study,
To Dress, To Trim Up, To Embellish Your Body.
When Once You've As Richly Adorn'd Your Mind,
I Doubt Not But Quickly A Husband You'll Find.