The Alexandria Herald

The following fragment was found by the subscriber, who thinks that although it bears the style, in somewhat, of Job, it alludes to temporal subjects.
1st. There was a man in the land of Loudoun, and his name was Joe: and that man was of perfect stature, in his own eyes, being an upright man, and one that feared one of the temple, such as were the artificers--a "Mason," who died in single combat.
2d. And this perfect man worshipped a people called the Dutch, and they did bow down unto him as their Baal.
3d. His substance was in lands on the earth, and some in the moon. So that Joe was the greatest of all the men who held a station amongst the rulers of the land.
4th. But being inflated with vanity he took unto himself a counsellor, who had also drank of the cup of abomination.
5th. And these two wise men held council at the bank of a river and, in a city called Alexandria, near Grand Cairo, where a namesake of Joe's--Joseph son of Jacob--did dwell in the days past, in the land of Egypt.
6th. And it came to pass that they did write a book; nay verily they did write two books--and they were signed with seals.
7th. A horseman was called, like unto Jehu, to bear these books unto a man, "in whom there is no guile."
8th. For the man Joe was puffed up with the possession of many shekels of silver that had been paid unto him by a certain rich person called Bazil, as the price of land.
9th. And Joe counted his oxen and his asses, and they numbered like the sands of the sea shore. And he verily believed that he was lord of a land, like Canaan, flowing with milk and with honey.
10th. But disappointment came unto the man, and he sung the lamentations of Jeremiah from mount Pisgah or (Clifton. Cetera desunt.
CANDIDUS.