The Rhode Island Republican

MISCELLANEOUS SELECTIONS.

A CURE FOR THE HYP.

MANY divines and moralists impute this distemper to discontent, disappointment, and pride, which may be partial causes; but let the irregularities of blood and animal spirits have their share, lest the doctor be thrust out of his proper dividend in the distemper.

We grant that a person in the Spleen may be flung into a course of diversions: and a mixture of roukes, horse-races, assemblies, plays, puppet-shows, &c. may be made up for him in a prescription; but where the case is at the worst, and the patient (if a male) begins to think he is with child, or is turned into an egg, a tea pot, a bottle, a horse's tail (of all which cases there have been notorious instances) there is no way left but to humour the distemper; and the craft of physic is, in this case much preferable to the art, as will appear from the following story:

A young Gentleman of good sense and learning, with a very handsome estate, had no malady to complain of but the spleen, and soon found there could be nothing worse. Hereupon he came up from his seat on the border of Wales to Oxford, where he had been bred, in order for a cure. He seemed well in body, and said he had no cause of trouble in his mind, but still he complained, he was he knew not how--deep in the shag-rag hyp to a violent degree--full of the glooms and dismals, &c.

By the Doctor's advice he retired to a town in the Blackpool neighbourhood, where there was a good air, not too much company, nor too great a solitude, and where, after diverting himself with riding and other exercises, he might conclude the day with a few friends at a cheerful bottle; --which watch he was for some time exceedingly relieved.

Opposite to his neat apartment there lived a Cobler, who worked hard all day, and was often diverting himself and others with a catch, song, or ballad. The gentleman was for some time nightly pleased with this; but upon comparing the cheerful mechanic's condition with his own, came by degrees to envy him, and at last to hate him mortally.

In this temper he took some back rooms next the gardens; but still the idea of the happy cobler haunted him, till at last he fancied he was possessed, and the cobler was got down into his belly, where "he lay poicing with his awl, gnawing the leather, and beating furiously with his hammer." In this distress consulting again his physician, he told him he had swallowed a cobler / upon this they all declared him mad, and gave him up as incurable.

A young student in physic, related to the family where the gentleman lodged, was told in a visit of this extraordinary case, and with much difficulty admitted to see the patient, whom he found in an easy chair, groaning lustily, and turning from side to side, as the cobler made a puncture or contusion. He complained of an immense swelling, of throbbings, like blows, &c. and of the stench of ale and tobacco. At last he said-- Now pray, Doctor, what do you think I am troubled with? The Doctor gravely answered-- Really, Sir, I am inclined to believe that you have swallowed a cobler --A cobler! (says the patient)--You have it!--you have it!--Oh, the villain!--the villain -- Lord! I feel him pricking me!-- surely you was sent by heaven to my deliverance. But what can you do for me?--To-night (says the Doctor:) you shall take a composing draught, that will make both you and your cobler easy, and to-morrow I will visit you again.

That evening the Doctor privately sends for the cobler, gives him a piece of money, with the promise of another: gives him all his instructions, and engages him heartily in the operation. The next morning he re-visits his patient, orders him to keep his bed till night, and then retires to an adjoining room hung round with old tapestry, where he got all things ready. A very strong emetick was sent in by the apothecary: a large bathing-tub, half filled with water. Was set close by a closet, in which there was an opening through the hangings. The Doctor had furnished his pockets with some of the cobler's tools and utensils, properly disposed, the family was let into the secret; a dim light was placed at the further end of the room; and the cobler was privately stationed behind the hangings.

About 10 at night the patient was introduced in form; took the emetick, and after one or two plunges, the Doctor gravely fished in the liquors with a ladle, and at last brought up some ends of bristles --See here, Sir, (says he) we are right!-- we are right!--Come, one plunge more--and then he fishes up an awl, a ball of thread, and some balls of ink.--Again, Sir! again! (continues the Doctor) and then bringing up a hammer, a paring knife, and two heel-pieces.--Now, Sir, we are near him: shut your eyes close, and take one more hearty plunge. In this interval, he hugs the cobler from behind the hangings, souses him over head and ears in the tub, and then cries out--Open your eyes, Sir, we have him! we have him!--and withal collaring the cobler, just rising from the deluge, he severely reprimanded him for daring to get down a gentleman's throat; and threatening him heavily in case of a return, shewed him at last the shortest way down stairs. The patient was for a while astonished at his deliverance; but, by degrees, he composed himself, for there was no resisting demonstration. That night he took another composing draught, was well next morning, and the Doctor returned with 50 guineas to Oxford.