The Evansville Daily Journal

The Little Giant on Fainting Fits.—The Democrats have manifested a great deal of ingenuity in their efforts to account for Gen. Pierce's fainting fits on the field of battle. We have already published several Democratic versions of those fits. Each one of them presupposes the falsity of all previous versions. The Whigs content themselves with a mere statement of the fact that Gen. Pierce had a great facility in fainting on the field of battle, and do not give themselves any unnecessary trouble in trying to find why it was that he always happened to faint just at the time when a General should be wide awake with all his senses about him.

Judge Douglas, the little giant, the smallest of giants, the most mendacious of picninny giants, has come to the rescue of his party and gives a veritable and most sufficient reason why Pierce fainted. He made a speech in Richmond, Virginia, a few days ago, in which he said that Pierce did not faint from fear, but that he sunk from exhaustion, having marched to the battle field over an extensive tract of "red-hot stones of burning lava."

We advise all other Democrats to adopt the giant's version. They can't hope to improve on it. It is very satisfactory. But one, if he happens to be a Whig, can't help asking two or three questions in relation to the explanation. Where did the "red-hot stones of burning lava" come from? What volcano is there at Cherubusco and Contreras which was in operation at the time those battles were fought, to eject red-hot stones in the valiant Gen. Pierce's way? Why should Gen. Pierce be the only one of the American army who fainted from exhaustion after having marched over an extensive tract of red-hot stones of burning lava? When Pillow was fleshed in the arm by a Mexican bullet, he carried the bullet about with him as an evidence of the fact. Can his friend Pierce produce a few of those "red-hot stones of burning lava" that caused him to faint? If that French Doctor, who was l—l on fits, happens to be alive, he will speedily expire in a fit of jealousy. Douglas has beaten him in his own peculiar vocation, and henceforth the sinful will certainly assert that Douglas is "h—l on fits"—fainting fits.

[Lou. Journal.]