The Virginia Gazette

Religion and Infidelity, a Dream.

I THOUGHT, says the Writer, I found myself engaged with a mixed Multitude of both Sexes and all Ages, in climbing a large Hill, not only craggy, but steep, which made it irksome to those who had impair'd their natural Strength, or carry'd any great Matter of Burthen.

To direct our Journey there was a dubious Light that grew clearer as we came nearer the Summit: Which, however, few would have been able to gain, had it not been for the kind Offices of several Persons who reach'd out their Hands to all that would accept of their Assistance. The Brow of the Hill was terminated by a Partition impenetrable, except at one Opening, which was thro' a Gate of the plainest Order, exceeding low and narrow.

Having, without much Difficulty, gain'd Admission, I saw, seated on a Table rais'd Altar-wise by two Steps, a female Personage, whose Countenance was a happy Mixture of Majesty and Sweetness; her Eye was discerning, her Tongue persuasive, and her Head incircled with a Glory: In her Right-hand she held the Sun, near which stood Truth: In her Left-hand was a Book, with the Portraiture of a Lamb bearing a Cross upon it: a rich Vestment flow'd down to her Feet. On the first Step to the Altar stood two Figures, one with a piercing undazzled Eye, looking stedfastly upward; the other with a modest but cheerful Aspect: On the Step
Step above stood a third Figure, whose Heart seemed on Fire, and her Look most affectionate and charming. Pointing my Eye upward the same Way the Figure on the first Step was looking, I saw Glory rising above Glory, till I was lost in the immeasurable Height. Casting my Eye downwards I had on each Side the most beautiful View of Lands, Rivers, Seas, Ships, Cities, &c. Turning myself to the august Person sitting before me, I could not help applying to her that fine Passage in the Book of Psalms--The King's Daughter is all glorious, &c.

In a Fit of Transport I returned to the Wicket of Admission to communicate my Joy to those on the Outside of it, some of whom being too tall, disdained to stoop and enter; others were too big. The same Fate befell some Ladies with their Hoops, which rather than bend, they skulked back again as fast as they could. Others had their Pockets so stuffed as made their Passage impracticable. Some I saw standing full before the Gates, in View of the Glories within, yet without the least Effort to enter; the Reason was, their Eyes were so distorted and awry, that they did not see what they seemed to look upon. The next Company consisted of Men and Women, who came up in Couples: A Torch was borne before them, at Sight of which a side Door opened and admitted them.

Several other Couples claimed the same Benefit, but were refused, because they had not the Torch with them. These were followed by a Company preceded by a Torch, but in another Order; for here each Man, leading several Females, desired the Entrance might be enlarged: They were told there had been Instances of such Admissions, but that these Doors had been long closed up, they must therefore either separate or retire; they chose the latter.

These, with many others, returned the Way they came, and found no Difficulty in the Descent. An irresistible Curiosity pushed me after them to a Plain at the Foot of the Hill: In the Middle of it, on a large Bladder, sat an ugly Phantom which, upon a near Inspection, I found to be the same Figure I had, when awake, sketched out for an Emblem of modern Infidelity, at which every Company, as they arrived, stopped and bowed. Her Retinue was numerous: Those of them which I could distinguish by their Dress or Actions were, Banter, Laughter, Prejudice, Ignorance, Discord, Clamour, and Curiosity: Before her stood Pride a tip-toe; at her Feet lolled Flattery. In one Hand she waved a small Taper, and in the other held a Quarto Book. Proclamation was made for Silence to hear the Oracles of Reason, after some plain Things, it was pronounced to the listening Crowds, That the Part was bigger than the Whole, and the Taper, flaring above their Heads, larger and brighter than the Sun; that the Stature of the strongest Man might extend as high as the Lengths of all the Individuals there present put together; and that the finest Buildings were not to compare for Beauty with the Ruins of those Buildings.

At the Conclusion, the Company was dismissed with Tapers in their Hands to try their Goodness, by finding their Way through an immense Labyrinth, full of Bogs and Precipices, cross Paths, perplexed Windings and illusory Turns, without a Spark of Light to direct them, but what they carried. They entered the Place with Frolick and Inadvertency; but had not proceeded long before Return became impossible; and Mirth and Wantonness changed into Confusion and Lamentation. Cries were heard from every Quarter, of Persons whose Tapers were gone out, tearing themselves with Bushes, running against Trees, plunging into Waters, or tumbling into Pits. Many, sick of endless Wanderings, run their Heads into Halters, or finished their Misery with Poison and Daggers. In the midst of this Distress, several Persons offered to extricate them, on Condition they put out both their own Eyes which had so misled them, and implicitly following their Conductors: Some accepted the Terms without examining the Credit of their Guides.

Grown weary of viewing these Scenes of Horror, I recovered the Plain, where the Author of all this Mischief sat, just at the Instant, when a Sword of Fire issued from the Mouth of the Matron seated on the Summit of the adjoining Hill, and proceeded to the Place where I was. As it came near the Idol, the Taper in her Hand grew dim, because many of its strongest Rays flew off, and incorporated with the approaching Flame, to which they seemed congenial. The radiant Weapon pricked the Monster's Seat, which gave a loud Crack, and sunk to the Earth with its Burden; whose Womb, bursting with the Fall, the Bowels gushed out, and with them a vast Quantity of loathsome dissonant Animals, whose Bustle and Hurry, with the Explosion of the Bladder, waked me.