Vermont Phœnix

LAWYERS OUTWITTED.

Not far from the city of Montgomery, in the State of Alabama, on one of the stage-roads running from that city, lives a jolly landlord by the name of Ford. In fair weather or foul, in hard times or soft, Ford would have his joke. It was a bitter, stormy night, or rather morning, about two hours before daybreak he was aroused from his slumber by loud shouting and knocks at his door. He turned out, but sorely against his will, and demanded what was the matter. It was as dark as tar, and as he could see no one he cried out—

'Who are you, there!'

'Burder and Yaney and Elmote, from Montgomery,' was the answer, 'on our way to Tuscaloosa to attend court. We are benighted, and want to stay all night.'

'Very sorry I can't accommodate you so far, gentlemen. Do anything to oblige you, but that's impossible.' The lawyers, for they were three of the smartest lawyers in the State, and all ready to drop down with fatigue, held a brief consultation, and then, as they could do no better, and were too tired to go another step, they asked—

'Well, can't you stable our horses, and give us chairs and a good fire till morning!'

'Oh, yes, can do that, gentlemen.' Our learned and legal friends were soon drying their wet clothes by a bright fire, as they composed themselves to pass the few remaining hours in their chairs, dozing and nodding, and now and then swearing a word or two of impatience as they waited till daylight did appear. The longest night has a morning, and at last the sun came along, and then in due time a good breakfast made its appearance; but to the surprise of the lawyers, who thought the house was crowded with guests, none but themselves sat down to partake.

'Why, Ford, I thought your house was so full you couldn't give us beds last night?' said Burder.

'I didn't say so,' Ford replied.

'You didn't! What in the name of thunder, then did you say?'

'You asked me to let you stay here all night, and I said that would be impossible, for the night was near two-thirds gone when you came. If you only wanted beds why on earth didn't you say so?' The lawyers had to give it up Three of them on one side, and the landlord alone had beat them all.