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Poem
August 1, 1771
The Virginia Gazette
Richmond, Williamsburg, Richmond County, Virginia
What is this article about?
A satirical poem depicting a dinner between an Abbot and a Bishop where they debate priestly marriage and heresy, only to reveal their own hypocrisies with young maids, concluding with a moral on self-reproach.
Clipping
OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
POET'S CORNER
THE CANONICAL QUIBBLER.
An Abbot rich (whose Taste was good,
Alike in Science and in Food)
His Bishop had resolv'd to treat;
The Bishop came, the Bishop ate.
'Twas Silence, till their Stomachs fail'd,
And now at Hereticks they rail'd.
What Heresy (the Prelate said)
Is in that which where Priests may wed!
Do not we take the Church for Wife?
But those divorce her for a Wife;
Like Laymen keep her in their Houses,
And own the Children of their Spouses.
Vile Practices! the Abbot cry'd,
For pious Use we're set aside.
Shall we take Wives? Marriage, at best,
Is but Carnality profess'd.
Now, as the Bishop took his Glass,
He spy'd our Abbot's buxom Lass,
Who cross'd the Room; he mark'd her Eye,
That glow'd with Love; his Pulse beat high.
Fie, Father, fie (the Prelate cries)
A Maid so young! for Shame, be wise.
These Indiscretions lend a Handle
To lewd Lay Tongues, to give us Scandal:
For your Vows Sake, this Rule I give t'ye,
Let all your Maids be turn'd of fifty.
The Priest reply'd, I have not swerv'd,
But you; chaste Precept well observ'd:
That Lass full twenty five has told;
I've yet another who's as old;
Into one Sum their Ages cast;
So both my Maids have fifty past.
The Prelate smil'd, but durst not blame,
For why? His Lordship did the same.
Let those who reprimand their Brothers
First mend the Faults they find in others.
THE CANONICAL QUIBBLER.
An Abbot rich (whose Taste was good,
Alike in Science and in Food)
His Bishop had resolv'd to treat;
The Bishop came, the Bishop ate.
'Twas Silence, till their Stomachs fail'd,
And now at Hereticks they rail'd.
What Heresy (the Prelate said)
Is in that which where Priests may wed!
Do not we take the Church for Wife?
But those divorce her for a Wife;
Like Laymen keep her in their Houses,
And own the Children of their Spouses.
Vile Practices! the Abbot cry'd,
For pious Use we're set aside.
Shall we take Wives? Marriage, at best,
Is but Carnality profess'd.
Now, as the Bishop took his Glass,
He spy'd our Abbot's buxom Lass,
Who cross'd the Room; he mark'd her Eye,
That glow'd with Love; his Pulse beat high.
Fie, Father, fie (the Prelate cries)
A Maid so young! for Shame, be wise.
These Indiscretions lend a Handle
To lewd Lay Tongues, to give us Scandal:
For your Vows Sake, this Rule I give t'ye,
Let all your Maids be turn'd of fifty.
The Priest reply'd, I have not swerv'd,
But you; chaste Precept well observ'd:
That Lass full twenty five has told;
I've yet another who's as old;
Into one Sum their Ages cast;
So both my Maids have fifty past.
The Prelate smil'd, but durst not blame,
For why? His Lordship did the same.
Let those who reprimand their Brothers
First mend the Faults they find in others.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Epigram
What themes does it cover?
Satire Society
Religious Faith
Moral Virtue
What keywords are associated?
Abbot
Bishop
Heresy
Priestly Marriage
Hypocrisy
Clerical Scandal
Moral Precept
Poem Details
Title
The Canonical Quibbler.
Subject
Satire On Clerical Hypocrisy
Form / Style
Rhymed Couplets
Key Lines
What Heresy (The Prelate Said)
Is In That Which Where Priests May Wed!
Let All Your Maids Be Turn'd Of Fifty.
So Both My Maids Have Fifty Past.
Let Those Who Reprimand Their Brothers
First Mend The Faults They Find In Others.