Putnam Patriot

THE PATRIOT'S SUNDAY COLUMN by the Rev. Joseph Vasey Pastor Congregational Church Friends

"A friend is always a friend. He is a brother born for adversity."

"There are friends who only bring one loss: there is a friend who is more loyal than a brother."-Proverbs.

Who has need of more friends, and who has more friends, and who is a friend to more people than a minister? He comes into a community entirely unknown and begins at once being a friend. It is an interesting study, friendship. Lover, friend, acquaintance. These three words describe the most beautiful associations of life. They are the three circles of fellowship which are like unto the great belts of light which surround the planets. These relationships are not closed circles. One may penetrate and pass into the other. Acquaintance ripens into friendship. Friendship passes into the purer, brighter light of love. But the outer court must be passed ere the inner shrine is reached. The text is concerned with that "fine and ennobling association of life called friendship."

The Need and Use of Friends

I ask myself many times, what are the characteristics of true friendship? He who has the right to the sacred name of friend, proves it by the constancy and unalterableness of his attachment. He is no mere fair weather friend. He stays "put" at all times. We may not suspect the strength of his affection when all is well, but when the crowd of buzzing, flattering parasites has fallen away, the true friend is revealed standing by with a constancy which "many waters can not drown." This is the primary use of a friend. Born for adversity. If you possess such a friend do not alienate him by neglect or inconsiderateness. To lose a true soul comrade is a calamity.

Friendship Stimulates and Quickens

"As iron sharpeneth iron, so doth the countenance of a man his friend." Nothing stimulates mind like contact with mind. Isolation contracts and rusts mental powers; contact quickens them. "What I want from my friend," says Emerson, "is not news nor pottage nor politics, but mental bracing and spiritual stimulus." There are few who can be indifferent to such friendship. The most reserved souls stretch out a hand for sympathy in their Gethsemane agony.

The Cultivation of Friendship

The second quotation from Proverbs I have used at the beginning of this meditation is the Moffatt Version of a familiar passage. This rendition sounds much harsher than the Authorised Version. But although we have lost a beautiful phrase we have gained a wholesome truth and a needed warning. The Bible abounds in illustrations of the truth of this saying. Rehoboam proved the truth of it in the Old Testament, and the prodigal son in the New, both of them examples of the folly of making indiscriminate friends. How many lives have been blighted by unwise friendships: How often faith has been smashed by false friends: How many nerves have been stretched to breaking point by friendless friendships: Early in life we begin the formation of what ought to be helpful life-long associations. There is a danger of making too many friends. Acquaintances may be numerous, but I assure you that friends do not go in flocks. There are subtle, electric affinities by which souls are drawn together. The great friendships are between individuals, like David and Jonathan.

The Best of Friends

There is a friend who is more loyal or as the old familiar quotation is, that sticketh closer than a brother." The relation existing between members of the same family is, generally speaking, close and tender, but this close human tie may be disturbed and sometimes is broken. There is a friend, however, who cannot be alienated by coldness, suspicion or distrust. The wise man with fine reserve, in writing the Proverbs, does not mention his name. His is the only friendship that will stand the test. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friend." But the love of Jesus exceeds this, "for while we were yet sinners Christ died for us." And the love of Jesus abides.

There is an old saying that the best of friends must part. There is one illustrious exception. Jesus Christ never says "Goodbye." The best of friends abides. He sticketh closer than a brother.

Here is a poem called "The Stimulus of Friendship" that I think just rounds out what I have been trying to say. I do not know the author.

"Because of your firm faith, I kept the track Whose sharp stones my strength had almost spent. I could not meet your eyes, if I turned back, So on I went.

Because of your strong love, I held the path When battered, worn and bleeding in the fight. How could I meet your true eyes, blazing wrath? So I kept right."

BORN BENNETT-In Putnam, at the Day Kimball hospital, May 17, a son to Mr. and Mrs. Ellsworth Bennett of West Glocester.

PHANEUF In Putnam, at the Day Kimball hospital, May 26, a son to Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Phaneuf of Wilkinson street.

MARRIED WALLACE-CHANDLER - In Ventura. Cal.. May 2, at the Methodist church. Miss Helen Chandler of Glendale. Cal.., formerly of East Woodstock, and Harry S .L. Wallace.

DIED CLOUTIER-In Putnam. May 16 Mrs. Justine Cloutier, aged 86 years.

GILBERT-In Pomfret, May 20, Carl Gilbert, aged 57 years.

LUCIER In Jewett City. Miss Emma D. Lucier. formerly of North Grosvenordale.