The Virginia Gazette

The MONITOR.

Multa Dies variisque labor mutabilis aevi
Rettulit in melius.

VIRG. AEN. I.

On some private Hints, I think myself obliged to satisfy the Curious, that they may be no longer in Doubt about the Monitor; and to prevent any Scrutiny in my Character, I shall give the Public my History.

I intimated in the first Paper, that London is the Place to which I owe my Birth. Know then, at Seven Years old, (after some proper Instructions for my Years,) my Father sent me to Vicknou Virougoumamouni, a Correspondent of his in the Kingdom of Mogul, upon the Prayagatirtam, in order to be instructed in his Principles. I had not been under his Tuition Three Moons, before I disobeyed his Command: Upon which, I was taken up by the Heels and thrown into the Prayaga, where I was instantly transform'd to a Dog of the Danish Kind. I wander'd about the Shore for Three Days; at Length, I espy'd the Goddess Malinei, bathing herself. I embrac'd the Opportunity, and follow'd her; being pretty close at her Heels, a Drop of Water fell from her Locks upon my Head, and transform'd me to an Ape. This prov'd a lucky Change; I was immediately taken Notice of, and had all the Care imaginable taken of me. I remain'd in this happy State for a Term of Years, but happening to fall asleep by the River Side upon a Childermas Day, was taken up by a French Factor, and sent to his Correspondent, a Gascon in France. I soon became frenchified, and learnt the Qualifications of the Country; and in a few Months was turn'd over to the Bishop of Toulon, as Train-bearer at the Office of high Mass. This Post was very easy; the Duty only once a Year: Here I had the Advantage of seeing several Parts of France; and my Church Performance pleas'd me much: I took it for granted, in Course of Time, as being a Member of the Church, I should be taken Notice of in my Turn. In about Ten Years afterwards, Messengers were dispatch'd all over Europe, to give Notice of the Sede vacante; and that a Conclave was preparing.

This News carried us with all Expedition to Rome. There I learnt a Smattering of the Virtuosi; but to my great Misfortune, being very busy in the Crowd at the Election, and every one eager to gorge down his Holiness's Benediction; a Bear belonging to the Duke of Parma, that had been missing for some Time, lay concealed in the Vatican, and rush'd in among us; this Confusion put a Stop to the Ceremony 'til they had conquer'd him, and made him a Sacrifice at the Altar. In this Bustle I was trampled under Foot, made my Exit, and animated the Body of the Bear.

The Procession over, and the Coast clear, I strolled to the Sea Side, where I was taken by a Shipwreck'd Sailor, and made his Prize. By this Means I was convey'd to England, and sent to London; I had not been there a Week, before my Lot was cast on Hickley i'the Hole, the ancient Amphitheatre of London. I made a tolerable Resistance, and gain'd Applause, to the Satisfaction of some Stars and Garters: But the Dogs being too many for me; I was obliged to submit. My last Groan occasioned a general Shout; but Doctor Faustus being present, bow'd his Magic Wand, repeating the Words of Shakespeare:

By my rough Magic, I have oft bedimm'd
The Noon-tide Sun
Graves at my Command
Have wak'd their Sleepers, op'd and let them forth.

And I instantly reassum'd my first Body, to the great Surprize of the Spectators. This great and glorious Act of the Doctor, engag'd my Affections, and by the strictest Ties of Honour and Gratitude, (which is not to be found in every Man,) I voluntarily bound myself to him for the Space of Seven Years; at the Expiration of which, I took Shipping for this Colony, in order to spend the Remainder of my Days.

These Transformations and Transmigrations, may seem strange to some incredulous People; therefore, to prove the Veracity, and make it incontestable, I refer you to Plato's Book of his Republic. Orpheus made Choice of the Body of a Swan. Tamyris that of the Nightingale, Ajax's Soul chose the Body of a Lion. Agamemnon's animated an Eagle. And Thersites transmigrated into the Body of a Monkey, &c. Aeneas cutting off the Branch of a Tree, saw the Blood of Polydorus trickle down upon the Ground, and heard the following Complaint in a melancholy Tone:

Quid miserum, Aenea, laceras? jam parce sepulto.

Which proves the Transmigration of Souls into Trees, Plants, and all Things else, that are capable of Vegetation. Nor is this Transmigration of Souls confin'd alone to those Parts I came from --- No! ---- they are as liable to this Part of the World as any other; and for these Sixty Years past, that I have been an Inhabitant on this Part of the Continent, I have seen various Transformations. Many there are that I could name, that are not the same Creatures they were but a few Years ago. ---- But to the Point;

This being a festival Time, I give a general Invitation to all Mankind. I regard no Hours, by Day or by Night every Man is welcome. My House stands in the midst of a Wood; and for the Ease of Travellers that are disposed to visit me, my Man Dominic has been employ'd for this Month past, to set up Hands in all cross Roads, to prevent Gentlemen losing their Way. And for the Encouragement of all those that are willing to honour me with their Company, I do hereby positively affirm, that I unfold Mysteries equal to any Person or Persons, that have been heretofore in this Colony, or any other of His Majesty's Dominions, viz.

The Interpretation of Dreams.
The Affairs of Love.
Who is like to die a Maid.
Who not.
I name the first Ship in York River.
I name the Ship that's first loaded.
Who will have the largest Consignments, &c.
These and many other Questions of the like Nature, I can truly resolve. I am no Empirick, as to Divinity; Physic; and Law: As I propose to deal honourably by Mankind, I leave each Profession to each Professor.

N. B. In all cross Roads you are to take Notice, the Hand that has Two Thumbs leads to my House.