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Letter to Editor
March 23, 1769
The Virginia Gazette
Richmond, Williamsburg, Richmond County, Virginia
What is this article about?
A satirical letter to the printer predicts absurd future events like oxen harming people, including officials, and social follies, concluding that England must recover sense and virtue to regain rights and privileges.
Clipping
OCR Quality
98%
Excellent
Full Text
To the Printer of the Publick Advertiser.
SIR,
As I consider early intelligence as the life of a newspaper, I hope your readers will think themselves obliged by having certain intelligence of events communicated before they happen. This I must own is a kind of forestalling the market; but as it is neither criminal in itself, nor contrary to law, I presume we are safe. However, if you should be obliged to give up the author, you may safely swear that, though a prophet, he is no conjurer.
I am, Sir, your humble servant,
MERLIN.
PROPHETICK INTELLIGENCE.
Every Monday and Friday, for two years to come, harnessed oxen, rendered furious, even to madness, by the barbarity of their drivers, will toss, tear, and break the bones of a number of old women and children; but as children have keen appetites (which raise the price of provisions) and as old women are an encumbrance on the earth, no notice will be taken of the matter.
About three years hence an overdriven beast will MISTAKE a Justice of Peace for an old woman, and toss his Worship. This will make some stir; but as he will happen to be a Middlesex Justice (who are as plenty as widgeons in frosty weather) this also will pass off.
In a few weeks afterwards a furious beast will luckily gore a member of a certain great assembly, who will have so much patriotism as to provide for his own safety, and then the market for live cattle will be removed.
On the morning after Lord Mayor's day, for 20 years to come, five or six gentlemen of the Common Council will be found dead in their bed and it will be very remarkable that one or two of them will not be cuckolds, for they will be unmarried men.
On the 14th of February, for 100 years to come, Lovers will be plenty, Fools will be so on the 1st of April, and Knaves all the year round.
Until the people of England recover their sense and virtue they will never recover their rights and privileges, for there are no people so easily enslaved as the weak and the wicked.
SIR,
As I consider early intelligence as the life of a newspaper, I hope your readers will think themselves obliged by having certain intelligence of events communicated before they happen. This I must own is a kind of forestalling the market; but as it is neither criminal in itself, nor contrary to law, I presume we are safe. However, if you should be obliged to give up the author, you may safely swear that, though a prophet, he is no conjurer.
I am, Sir, your humble servant,
MERLIN.
PROPHETICK INTELLIGENCE.
Every Monday and Friday, for two years to come, harnessed oxen, rendered furious, even to madness, by the barbarity of their drivers, will toss, tear, and break the bones of a number of old women and children; but as children have keen appetites (which raise the price of provisions) and as old women are an encumbrance on the earth, no notice will be taken of the matter.
About three years hence an overdriven beast will MISTAKE a Justice of Peace for an old woman, and toss his Worship. This will make some stir; but as he will happen to be a Middlesex Justice (who are as plenty as widgeons in frosty weather) this also will pass off.
In a few weeks afterwards a furious beast will luckily gore a member of a certain great assembly, who will have so much patriotism as to provide for his own safety, and then the market for live cattle will be removed.
On the morning after Lord Mayor's day, for 20 years to come, five or six gentlemen of the Common Council will be found dead in their bed and it will be very remarkable that one or two of them will not be cuckolds, for they will be unmarried men.
On the 14th of February, for 100 years to come, Lovers will be plenty, Fools will be so on the 1st of April, and Knaves all the year round.
Until the people of England recover their sense and virtue they will never recover their rights and privileges, for there are no people so easily enslaved as the weak and the wicked.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satirical
Comedic
Social Critique
What themes does it cover?
Social Issues
Politics
Morality
What keywords are associated?
Prophetic Intelligence
Satirical Predictions
Oxen Accidents
English Politics
Morality Virtue
Social Follies
What entities or persons were involved?
Merlin
The Printer Of The Publick Advertiser
Letter to Editor Details
Author
Merlin
Recipient
The Printer Of The Publick Advertiser
Main Argument
the letter provides satirical 'prophetic intelligence' of future mishaps and social follies in england, arguing that the people must recover sense and virtue to regain their rights and privileges.
Notable Details
Prophet No Conjurer
Harnessed Oxen Tossing Old Women And Children
Beast Mistakes Justice Of Peace
Gore Member Of Great Assembly
Common Council Gentlemen Dead
Lovers On 14th February, Fools On 1st April, Knaves All Year