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Editorial
May 8, 1829
Constitutional Whig
Richmond, Virginia
What is this article about?
Satirical poem in the Richmond Whig mocking political reformers and figures like Branch, Lee, and Swartwout, ironically celebrating a 'grand millennium' of reform and retrenchment under a 'Farmer, Soldier' leader, signed Pindar Philo-Hero.
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Full Text
For The Richmond Whig.
REFORM AND RETRENCHMENT
Our Farmer, Soldier, good and great,
Who doth control our ship of state,
And "Augean stable clean;"
Reformer and retrencher too.
Oh! who can tell the half he'll do?
His like was never seen!
A grand millennium has come,
At beat of our great victor's drum.
There's Branch and Lee, and Swartwout, see!
Feds, Burrs, and Libertines agree!
His magic art, oh! who can ken?
Turns men to Cars, and Cars to men!
Of Branches he makes trees,
The bravest warriors all are beaten
By pigmy mouse, the puss has eaten;
Pure wine he's made from Lees.
A grand millennium has come, &c.
Cash he can earn as well as men,
In thousands from out eights by ten,
Whene'er he turns his screws:
Free Tom can make a Minister,
As easy as tom cat can purr,
And Christians make of Jews!
A grand millennium, &c.
The weak shall all confound the wise,
Poor devils that the world despise,
Bar-keepers, Burritos, too,
By potent touch or hickory wand,
With wisdom filled to rule the land
And patriots all true blue!
A grand millennium, &c.
The Feds, whom once he'd hang by dozens,
Are now his favorite German cousins,
On more mature reflection;
Attorneys can interpret laws
And Britain's friends oppose her cause,
Repeal'd is second section.
A grand millennium, &c.
We beg our sage Enquirer man
To teach us, as he surely can,
What course we'd best pursue:
Like Daff, and Kendall, Hill, and Cars,
We'd fain crab bark in any wars,
If fortune would be true.
A grand millennium, &c.
PINDAR PHILO-HERO.
REFORM AND RETRENCHMENT
Our Farmer, Soldier, good and great,
Who doth control our ship of state,
And "Augean stable clean;"
Reformer and retrencher too.
Oh! who can tell the half he'll do?
His like was never seen!
A grand millennium has come,
At beat of our great victor's drum.
There's Branch and Lee, and Swartwout, see!
Feds, Burrs, and Libertines agree!
His magic art, oh! who can ken?
Turns men to Cars, and Cars to men!
Of Branches he makes trees,
The bravest warriors all are beaten
By pigmy mouse, the puss has eaten;
Pure wine he's made from Lees.
A grand millennium has come, &c.
Cash he can earn as well as men,
In thousands from out eights by ten,
Whene'er he turns his screws:
Free Tom can make a Minister,
As easy as tom cat can purr,
And Christians make of Jews!
A grand millennium, &c.
The weak shall all confound the wise,
Poor devils that the world despise,
Bar-keepers, Burritos, too,
By potent touch or hickory wand,
With wisdom filled to rule the land
And patriots all true blue!
A grand millennium, &c.
The Feds, whom once he'd hang by dozens,
Are now his favorite German cousins,
On more mature reflection;
Attorneys can interpret laws
And Britain's friends oppose her cause,
Repeal'd is second section.
A grand millennium, &c.
We beg our sage Enquirer man
To teach us, as he surely can,
What course we'd best pursue:
Like Daff, and Kendall, Hill, and Cars,
We'd fain crab bark in any wars,
If fortune would be true.
A grand millennium, &c.
PINDAR PHILO-HERO.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Partisan Politics
What keywords are associated?
Reform
Retrenchment
Satire
Political Figures
Grand Millennium
Hickory Wand
What entities or persons were involved?
Branch
Lee
Swartwout
Feds
Burrs
Libertines
Free Tom
Daff
Kendall
Hill
Cars
Enquirer Man
Pindar Philo Hero
Editorial Details
Primary Topic
Satirical Critique Of Reform And Retrenchment
Stance / Tone
Satirical Mockery
Key Figures
Branch
Lee
Swartwout
Feds
Burrs
Libertines
Free Tom
Daff
Kendall
Hill
Cars
Enquirer Man
Pindar Philo Hero
Key Arguments
Farmer Soldier Controls Ship Of State And Cleans Augean Stable
Reformer Turns Enemies Into Allies
Magic Art Transforms Men And Makes Wine From Lees
Earns Cash Through Financial Maneuvers
Weak Confound The Wise With Hickory Wand
Feds Become Favorites
Attorneys Interpret Laws And Oppose Britain
Seek Guidance From Enquirer Man Like Daff And Others