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Literary
April 14, 1834
The Daily Cincinnati Republican, And Commercial Register
Cincinnati, Hamilton County, Ohio
What is this article about?
In Western Virginia, deranged mill owner Henry Snyder, believing himself God, judges brothers George and Jake Fulwiler for taking extra toll at their mills, condemning them to the goats. When judging himself, he justifies giving the extra to the poor and squeezes into the sheep.
Clipping
OCR Quality
92%
Excellent
Full Text
A GOOD STORY
There once lived lately in one of the mountainous countries in Western Virginia many Dutchmen, and, among them, one named Henry Snyder; and there were likewise two brothers, called George and Jake Fulwiler—they were all rich, and each owned a mill.
Henry Snyder was subject to fits of derangement, but they were not of such a nature as to render him disagreeable to any one. He merely conceived himself to be the Supreme Ruler of the Universe; and while under the infatuation, had himself a throne built, on which he sat to try the causes of all who offended him; and passed them off to heaven or hell, as his humor prompted—he personating both Judge and culprit.
It happened one day that some difficulty occurred between Henry Snyder and the Fulwilers, on account of their mills; when, to be avenged, Henry Snyder took along with him a book, in which he recorded his judgments, and mounted his throne to try their causes. He was heard to pass the following judgments.
Having prepared himself, (acting as Judge and yet responding for the accused;) he called George Fulwiler.
"George Fulwiler, stand up. What hash you been doin in dis lower world?"
"Ah! Lort, I does not know."
"Well George Fulwiler, has'nt you got a mill?"
"Yes, Lort, I hash."
"Well, George Fulwiler, didn't you never take too much toll?"
"Yes, Lort, I hash—when der water was low, and mien stones was dull, I take a leetle too much toll."
"Well, den, George Fulwiler, you must go to der left, mid der goats."
Well, Jake Fulwiler, now you stand up. What hash you been doin in dis lower world?
[The trial proceeded throughout precisely like the former, and with the same result.]
"Now I tries mineself. Henry Snyder! Henry Snyder! stand up. What hash you been doin in dis lower world?"
"Ah! Lort, I does not know."
"Well, Henry Snyder, has'nt you got a mill?',
"Yes, Lort, I hash."
"Well, Henry Snyder, did'nt you never take too much toll?"
"Yes, Lort, I hash—when der water was low, and mienstones wash dull, I hash taken a leetle too much toll."
"But Henry Snyder, vat did you do wid der toll."
"Ah! Lort, I gives it to de poor."
(Pausing.) "Well, Henry Snyder, you most go to der righi mid der sheep; but it is a tam tight squecze!"
There once lived lately in one of the mountainous countries in Western Virginia many Dutchmen, and, among them, one named Henry Snyder; and there were likewise two brothers, called George and Jake Fulwiler—they were all rich, and each owned a mill.
Henry Snyder was subject to fits of derangement, but they were not of such a nature as to render him disagreeable to any one. He merely conceived himself to be the Supreme Ruler of the Universe; and while under the infatuation, had himself a throne built, on which he sat to try the causes of all who offended him; and passed them off to heaven or hell, as his humor prompted—he personating both Judge and culprit.
It happened one day that some difficulty occurred between Henry Snyder and the Fulwilers, on account of their mills; when, to be avenged, Henry Snyder took along with him a book, in which he recorded his judgments, and mounted his throne to try their causes. He was heard to pass the following judgments.
Having prepared himself, (acting as Judge and yet responding for the accused;) he called George Fulwiler.
"George Fulwiler, stand up. What hash you been doin in dis lower world?"
"Ah! Lort, I does not know."
"Well George Fulwiler, has'nt you got a mill?"
"Yes, Lort, I hash."
"Well, George Fulwiler, didn't you never take too much toll?"
"Yes, Lort, I hash—when der water was low, and mien stones was dull, I take a leetle too much toll."
"Well, den, George Fulwiler, you must go to der left, mid der goats."
Well, Jake Fulwiler, now you stand up. What hash you been doin in dis lower world?
[The trial proceeded throughout precisely like the former, and with the same result.]
"Now I tries mineself. Henry Snyder! Henry Snyder! stand up. What hash you been doin in dis lower world?"
"Ah! Lort, I does not know."
"Well, Henry Snyder, has'nt you got a mill?',
"Yes, Lort, I hash."
"Well, Henry Snyder, did'nt you never take too much toll?"
"Yes, Lort, I hash—when der water was low, and mienstones wash dull, I hash taken a leetle too much toll."
"But Henry Snyder, vat did you do wid der toll."
"Ah! Lort, I gives it to de poor."
(Pausing.) "Well, Henry Snyder, you most go to der righi mid der sheep; but it is a tam tight squecze!"
What sub-type of article is it?
Prose Fiction
Dialogue
What themes does it cover?
Moral Virtue
Commerce Trade
What keywords are associated?
Dutch Settlers
Mill Owners
Divine Judgment
Dialect Humor
Moral Tale
Extra Toll
Literary Details
Title
A Good Story
Key Lines
"Well, Den, George Fulwiler, You Must Go To Der Left, Mid Der Goats."
"But Henry Snyder, Vat Did You Do Wid Der Toll."
"Ah! Lort, I Gives It To De Poor."
"Well, Henry Snyder, You Most Go To Der Righi Mid Der Sheep; But It Is A Tam Tight Squecze!"