The Virginia Gazette

From the LONDON CHRONICLE.

To the PRINTER.

SIR,

By the benevolence of my friends I am set up in a genteel business that requires my constant attention and attendance, which I must not neglect to give, both in gratitude to my friends, to attain their end in putting me into it, and my own of undertaking it, viz. to make a fortune if I can.

I am flesh and blood, &c. as well as other folks; and nature begins to work sadly upon me. She whispers in my ear, at particular times, "George, have a wife." She might as well whisper, "George, go hang yourself."

To be sure, in about 8 or 10 years I might with propriety listen to such a proposal; but alas! at present what can I do? Neither can I afford to maintain a wife, or so much time as to provide one against the time I might be able to maintain her. I cannot neglect my business, because it is by a thorough care of it I can have a wife at all.

Some make an advantageous speculation who go a wife-trading, but in me it would be a losing concern, until I have made my fortune, and if then I make a losing voyage I can the better bear it.

Now being thus so linked to my business, I cannot find time to go a courting. Some make their court but very short, others again (amongst whom I must rank myself) very tedious.

The Ladies love adoration, and may be years before they are brought to. This being the case, by the time I had made my fortune, and afterwards courted a wife, gad I'd be past mark of mouth. Therefore (and as I suppose there are many in my situation) I am for proposing a new and abolishing an old custom, there being no law to oppose me, and truly I think the women have had it in their own way long enough.

By this my scheme I'll be bound marriages will become more frequent, and matrimony meet with more encouragement and respect than it has done of late.

Manifold and evident will be the advantages accruing from such a change. Many an unfortunate young man will save his life; dissimulation and coquetry will be entirely extirpated, and virtue and modesty be on as respectable a footing as ever, if not better.

My scheme, in Short, is this, Mr. Printer, That the women should court the men. Now the murder is out.

Heyday! how! how! methinks I hear all the female tongues in Christendom ringing in my ears.- What! ay the women, give up our only dominion! Heaven knows, our's ends generally on our wedding day, or after the honey moon at furthest!-And give up all!

No; never heard the like!-Softly, softly, my fair nymphs; hear me but one word: In such a case, and upon such a change, there will be dominion on neither side, but a conformity of actions, eternal harmony, lasting love and peace throughout your lives. Indeed it is true.

I am Sir,

Your humble servant,

LOVEIT.