The Virginia Gazette

The Character of a Courtier in Disgrace: Suited to the Reigns of most of our Monarchs.
Ingenium Galbæ male habitat.

He was born with an aspiring Mind, by much too exalted for his Quality and his Estate. He is determined, at all Adventures, to gain the Name of a Great Man, tho' he should be obliged to pursue the Ways and Means, to attain that End, which Mr. Fielding has accurately prescribed in his Life of Jonathan Wild. And his Dexterity in doing ill made him thought capable of performing admirably well, if ever he came to be employed and entrusted.

He was preferred, for Ability, to high Degrees of Honour and Office; admitted into the Cabinet-Councils; made acquainted with all the secret Wheels, and the Cogs of each, upon which the Engine of State was turned, and kept in Motion; and, by the Favour of an indolent Prince, he was permitted to acquire sufficient Riches, on the Spoil of the Subject, to support the Splendor of a new raised Family; and even to raise himself to such a Pinnacle of Glory, that there seemed to be but very few Persons between him and the Crown; so that nothing was wanting to render his Felicity as lasting as Nature intended his Life, but a Heart that knew how to be grateful to a most magnificent Benefactor; for this Mushroom of Nobility thought all the Favours and Honours he enjoyed were less than the Reward of his Merit. That thought puffed him up with Pride, and with such a Pride, as is commonly attended with an irrevocable Fall, which was his Fortune; and at his Fall (like that of his Predecessor) might very well have been proclaimed: Woe to you, the Inhabitants of the Earth, for the Devil is come down among you.

Thinking it too hazardous to attempt an open Revenge against his Sovereign, he presently resolves upon secret. He exposes all the Weakness and Infirmities of the Court, from which few Courts are free; and where he can fix so real Faults, he feigns imaginary ones, and passes them off for Current. By this new and false Optic, he represents every Mole-hill of Mistake, in the public Administration, for a Mountain, as tall as Ararat, and as dangerous as the Top of Mount Ætna or Vesuvius.--He even multiplies and magnifies the very Miscarriages which were the Effect of his own evil Council. He amuses the freest Nation in the Universe with wild Rumors, and extravagant Apprehensions of Slavery, under the Government of a Prince, who, in Acts of Justice and Mercy, has exceeded all his Predecessors.--He fills the Heads of the People with whimsical Fears of phantastic Devils (Chimera's raised in his own hellish Brains) on purpose to frighten them out of their Loyalty and Wits, and, to prepare and ripen them for Bedlam and Rebellion.--He makes the Pretences of Liberty the Stirrup to get up, and Religion the Steed he rides, in pursuit of his monstrous Designs.- With these Pretences he cheats the Innocent; and promising to open their Eyes, serves them as the apostate Angel did our Parents in Paradise; only blows into them the Dust of Disobedience, and robs them of those Jewels, Liberty and Religion, he pretends to bestow; and are both much talked of, but little understood.--He becomes all Things to all Men, in the very worst of Senses; perverting the design of St. Paul, that he may at least delude some to be as bad as himself.

And, having lost his Honour with his Prince, and Reputation with the best of the Subjects, he cringes and creeps, and sneaks to the lowest and basest of the People, to procure himself, amongst them, an empty, vain-glorious, and undeserved Name, of, The Patriot of his Country. And, finally, centering all his hopes in being made the Little Head of the Great Rabble, he persuades them to believe, that they are all betrayed; encourages them to strike home against the King and Kingdom (pointing at the faithfullest and most affectionate Servants to both) well knowing, that the mighty Fabric can never be shaken, till its main Pillars and Supporters be, by cunning and sly Stratagem, either destroyed or undermined.