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Literary
April 29, 1891
The Somerset Herald
Somerset, Somerset County, Pennsylvania
What is this article about?
Humorous prose essay satirizing gender stereotypes, contrasting women's perceptiveness, sweetness, and cunning with men's egotism and mule sense, concluding with affection despite faults. Attributed to David F. Pross.
Clipping
OCR Quality
98%
Excellent
Full Text
A woman sees more things in Heaven and earth than are dreamed of in man's philosophy.
She's as full of sweetness and charity as a man is full of mule sense and egotism.
She can manage a man by making the vain bulk believe he manages her.
She can tell you better how much principle there is in a man to the square inch of his face than you could discover by a month's dealing with him.
She will marry a man to "reform" him, and though clothed in rags declare that she is happy with the brute.
She can't throw a stone because she isn't built that way; but she can fire a world of pathos into an appeal for a new dress that will burst the toughest purse-strings asunder.
She is usually more adept at making matches than at striking them, and, while she may not know how to sharpen a knife, she can in two minutes hone up her tongue in a way that will make it sharper than a two-edged sword.
She may not be able to jump a four-railed fence, but she jumps at conclusions, and nine times out of ten she gets there while a man is reasoning it all out.
She can quicken man's mental faculties by giving him pieces of her mind. She doesn't seem to feel the loss, either.
True, she spends much of her time before the glass; but so does a man, only his too often has a bead on it.
According to some, she was called woman because she brought woe to man. This interpretation, however, is not only not scriptural, but it is not borne out by the facts.
She is also called a conundrum; but we will never give her up-never. With all her faults, we love her still. But, as she is seldom still, we shall have to throw the mantle of charity over that one, too.
The perfect woman is a rara avis; and should she, by any accident, cross your path, young man, don't be disappointed if you find her in quest of a perfect man.
—David F. Pross.
She's as full of sweetness and charity as a man is full of mule sense and egotism.
She can manage a man by making the vain bulk believe he manages her.
She can tell you better how much principle there is in a man to the square inch of his face than you could discover by a month's dealing with him.
She will marry a man to "reform" him, and though clothed in rags declare that she is happy with the brute.
She can't throw a stone because she isn't built that way; but she can fire a world of pathos into an appeal for a new dress that will burst the toughest purse-strings asunder.
She is usually more adept at making matches than at striking them, and, while she may not know how to sharpen a knife, she can in two minutes hone up her tongue in a way that will make it sharper than a two-edged sword.
She may not be able to jump a four-railed fence, but she jumps at conclusions, and nine times out of ten she gets there while a man is reasoning it all out.
She can quicken man's mental faculties by giving him pieces of her mind. She doesn't seem to feel the loss, either.
True, she spends much of her time before the glass; but so does a man, only his too often has a bead on it.
According to some, she was called woman because she brought woe to man. This interpretation, however, is not only not scriptural, but it is not borne out by the facts.
She is also called a conundrum; but we will never give her up-never. With all her faults, we love her still. But, as she is seldom still, we shall have to throw the mantle of charity over that one, too.
The perfect woman is a rara avis; and should she, by any accident, cross your path, young man, don't be disappointed if you find her in quest of a perfect man.
—David F. Pross.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Essay
What themes does it cover?
Social Manners
What keywords are associated?
Women
Gender Stereotypes
Satire
Humor
Egotism
Charity
Reform
What entities or persons were involved?
David F. Pross
Literary Details
Author
David F. Pross
Key Lines
She's As Full Of Sweetness And Charity As A Man Is Full Of Mule Sense And Egotism.
She Can Manage A Man By Making The Vain Bulk Believe He Manages Her.
She Will Marry A Man To "Reform" Him, And Though Clothed In Rags Declare That She Is Happy With The Brute.
With All Her Faults, We Love Her Still. But, As She Is Seldom Still, We Shall Have To Throw The Mantle Of Charity Over That One, Too.
The Perfect Woman Is A Rara Avis; And Should She, By Any Accident, Cross Your Path, Young Man, Don't Be Disappointed If You Find Her In Quest Of A Perfect Man.