Seattle Daily Post Intelligencer

Electrical
Locomotion
Invented
by Mr. Edison.
[Corr. Waterbury American.]
Edison is said to be a father, and
why shouldn't he be, since he has
successfully proven that babies can
be produced by mechanism. For
several months he has devoted much
time to the invention of this house-
hold requisite in order to meet the
wants of those who are unfortunate
enough to fail in the injunction that
"Thou shalt multiply and replenish
the earth." He has succeeded in
completing and successfully operating
his mechanical baby. Now it is well
known that no household is com-
plete without the presence of a baby.
and it not infrequently happens that
the husband and wife are at "home"
to a select number of friends, and in
such homes where children are un-
known they are borrowed of the
neighbors. It was to meet this want
that Edison set about to complete his
mechanical infant. As the question
might arise whether all unfortunate
wedded pairs should want the same
size baby, the greatest of inventors
has overcome the difficulty by mak-
ing two sizes, one to represent a baby
less than a year old, and the other to
represent a baby two years old. At
a recent private exhibition of this toy
of luxury the baby was brought out
and laid on its back on the floor.
The wires were connected with a bat-
tery, and a half a minute later the
"little sugar plum" cried "Mamma,"
and the next moment it rolled over
and started to creep across the floor.
Twice it raised itself on one hand,
cried "Mamma, mamma," crept a
little farther and then coiled itself in
a bundle and cried lustily. Its next
move was to climb upon its feet to a
chair and push it around the room,
laughing all the while. After reach-
ing the opposite side of the room it rolled
over on the floor and went to sleep as
natural and as life-like as a ten-
months-old baby. The 2 year old
child was next produced and after
connecting the wires with the battery
it was not long before it commenced
its little pranks about the room. A
box of letter blocks was handed to
the child, and it spelled its name,
"E-d-i-s-o-n" at once. It then repeated
the little prayer, "Now I lay me
down to sleep," etc. A knock was
heard at the door, when it shouted,
"Come in!" It then turned to the
blocks, built a pyramid and several
other structures, laughing merrily
and naturally all the while. A toy
piano was placed before it, and after
lowering a few chords it sang "Sweet
By and By." It was then given a
doll baby, which was nursed naturally
in its arms, and after playing with
it a little while it yawned and said,
"Mamma, I'se sleepy," and then lying
down on the floor was soon in
peaceful dreams. Mr. Edison is
highly pleased with his success, but
is threatened with an injunction for
fear he will crowd our already too
crowded foundling asylums. The
mechanical baby has many advan-
tages. It needs no nurse; it needs
feeding only when we use it; it is out
of the way except when we feel in
baby humor; it can be kept quiet
when we don't want it, and we don't
have to gratify its many whims.