White Bluffs Spokesman

SOAP BUBBLES INVESTMENTS
By HARRY DANIELS In Thrift Magazine.

Someone is authority for the statement that a fool is born every minute. Now hold that happy thought for just a second or two. There are 60 minutes in every hour, 24 hours in every day, or a gross national production of 525,600 fools a year. It is from this source that the billion dollar a year loss in soap-bubble investments comes in this country, so that the actual cost of being a fool and remaining so consistently through life amounts to just about $1,902.60.

In the selection of investments it is surprising how careless many persons are at times. For example, all stock is divided by financial experts into four general groups or classifications, as follows: red, blue, green and yellow. There is, of course, some pink stock being offered to the public, but this is the exception that proves the rule.

Yet how few of us ever stop long enough to look into this important side of the investment problem. All we want to know is how much the dividends or profits are going to be. When we are told that a particular stock will double in value every morning before breakfast or that if all the dividends of such and such a company were placed end to end they would reach all the way from here to the federal penitentiary at Leavenworth, Kans., we are satisfied.

A shrewd Ohio investor we recently heard of had the right idea. He insisted that every share of stock he purchased must be peacock green with a yellow seal on it. When the president of the corporation was indicted and three of the directors drank carbolic acid and blew out their brains with what many believed was suicidal intent, some doubting Thomases thought this investor's stock would be entirely worthless. But such was not the case, for, having selected only stock of one color, he was able to use every single share of it in repapering the old summer kitchen.

Manifestly the careful security buyer should not be influenced too much by the great scenic beauty of his stock. He should find out some thing about the assets of the company. Take, for illustration, in the case of a ten million dollar corporation. he should try to find out exactly how many chairs, umbrella racks and cuspidors constitute its assets.

A friend of ours who has almost completed his quota of $1,902.60, bought some oil stock not long ago on the strength of a letter sent out by the company that its assets consisted of six good producing wells. At the inquest it was discovered that the assets referred to were six producing ink wells.

Truly the poet hath cried in his joy, "America thy name is opportunity." To illustrate the truth of this beautiful sentiment, an opportunity only a short while since was offered wide-awake investors to buy stock in a company being formed to convert the sun's rays into fur-lined bath-tubs or some such great public necessity. But, before they had time to utter a single bath-tub, several of the officers of the company received a flattering offer to come right down to Atlanta. Ga., and be the guests of good, old, big-hearted Uncle Sam for ten years.

Reports in financial circles state that there is now considerable activity in amphibious homesites. An amphibious homesite is one that spends most of its time under water. A building lot always should be taught from earliest infancy never to grow too fond of the water. There are many choice building sites now being offered to the public that could swim the English Channel.

This reminds us of the story we heard the other day about a Missouri investor who ordered a small fruit farm by mail from Chicago. He paid $100 cash down. When he went to claim his property in a distant state, a strange thing occurred. There wasn't any farm there. In filling his order for a farm, the promoters had just naturally forgotten to put in any land. Well, boys will be boys.

If anybody should ever try to sell you an investment that he says will make you rich not later than one month from the next Thursday, don't pay any attention to him unless your summer kitchen is badly in need of repapering.