Martinsburg Gazette And Public Advertiser

A Practical Joke.—During the last summer two elderly gentlemen of rather austere manners, who were strangers to each other, were in the habit of occasionally visiting a celebrated Coffee House in London. Being both rather niggardly in their habits, and the waiter having never received from either his customary fee, he being thus neglected, the rascal only wanted an opportunity to play off upon them a practical joke. This opportunity soon arrived.

One afternoon Mr. Jenkins, one of the gentlemen in question, came to the public room, but finding it occupied by a set of jovial fellows, who were somewhat disposed to be noisy, he turned in disgust to the waiter, and requested him to show him into a private apartment, and furnish him with a cup of coffee, and a pipe, and a newspaper.

Soon after Mr. Jones, the other gentleman who had rendered himself obnoxious to the waiter, also came in, and made a similar request. The waiter expressed regret that it was not in his power to comply with his request, as the apartments were all occupied. 'But,' said he, as if the idea suddenly occurred to him, 'there's a gentleman in No. 5, who'd presume, would have no objection to sharing his room with you—but, perhaps, you may not be pleased with his company, as unfortunately he is quite deaf.'

'O, that is of little consequence,' said Mr. Jones,—'Give my respects to the gentleman, and ask him if he will admit me into his company.'

The waiter departed, and entered into the apartments where Mr. Jenkins was wading through a tremendous paragraph relating to the French Revolution. 'Sir,' said the wag, 'there is a very respectable old man below, who is desirous of retiring to a private apartment, but unfortunately our rooms are all filled with company. If you will be so obliging as to—'

'Send him up,' replied Mr. Jenkins, 'I shall be happy to have his company.'

'But,' resumed the waiter, 'the poor man labors under a great infirmity, he is as deaf as a post.'

'I am sorry for that,' said Mr. Jenkins, 'as I wished to have some chat about the extraordinary events which have lately taken place in France—But never mind, send him up.'

Mr. Jones was accordingly introduced. The gentlemen bowed, looked hard at each other without speaking, and both puffed away at their pipes for some time.

At last Mr. Jenkins ventured out, 'Well, sir, what do you think of Lafayette?'

'I think he is a most extraordinary man, and an honor to the human race,' screamed Mr. Jones at the top of his voice.

'He is an extraordinary man, he is a great man—he is the hero of three Revolutions; I would not exchange his fame, for that of any name on record,' continued Mr. Jenkins, still to the infinite jeopardy of his lungs.

'Good God! my dear sir,' said Mr. Jones with voice of a Stentor, 'you need not bawl so loud. You absolutely stun me—I am not deaf.'

'That rascal of a waiter told me you were,' said Mr. Jenkins in his natural voice.

'He told me the same story of you,' hoarsely vociferated Mr. Jones.

'Spare me, my dear sir,' exclaimed Mr. Jenkins, holding up both hands—'for the drum of my ear will burst. I am no more deaf than yourself!'

Indignant at the trick which was played on them, they rung the bell for the waiter; and he appeared with a provoking leer upon his features, they asked him what he deserved for such impertinent conduct.

'I suppose, gentlemen, I deserve what I am in the habit of receiving from you.'

'What is that?'

'Nothing.' So saying he coolly walked off.