The Newport Gazette

Who would undertake the task of emboldening, when our high and mighty representatives so evidently bend under the weight of complicated cares. Every art of lying, haggling, and deceiving have been made use of to get the rabble together, after all is done Jonathan will be strolling homewards. However, our Highnesses and Dignities the Congress are determined to hang him, unless his mother is willing to redeem her darling boy from destruction. Filial affection is the truest search of their inquisitors hiding him under her petticoats.

Charles Thomson had no sooner put his name to the necessary edict, than up turns another court. They had some time past thought necessary to declare their army consisted of many more than it did. The internal enemies of America, as they are, discern it to be best friends, having heard false odds often as tried; begin to consider it might be false: but lo! some terrible alarm made it necessary to have real ideal men, they accordingly issued upon the militia. These internal units, who had been so deceived as to believe former assurances, cried out that surely could not be wanted, as but a day or two before they had been told there was sufficiency in the field to oppose any army. But we have hardly yet got to the sermon which is generally famed do a few words of exhortation. It is our brethren, to expel from this land an army of foreigners that come for murdering, plundering and ravishing, to be consistent hanging!... Well chosen words... blood can't boil at this recollection! and the intelligence may be depended as is undoubted, for I had it from -inet's own mouth. O tempora! O mores!