Atlanta Daily World

SPORTS OF THE WORLD
BY MARION E. JACKSON

Baseball's good humor man on the Knife and Fork circuit this winter was Dusty Rhodes. The New York Giants' pinch-hit star of the '54 World Series was a hit on banquet stump because of his one-man burlesque of jokes that had every situation of Joe Miller, Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello and Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. His deft touch with comedy has had audiences almost convulsed and many liken his wit to that of Bob Hope and Herb Shriner.

At the 100 Per Cent Wrong Club dinner, Dusty stopped the show with his story of the fellow who had lost his bar, his restaurant and his wife betting that the Cleveland Indians would sweep the Giants in the World Series. According to Dusty, this fellow griped a lot about losing his bar and restaurant, but nothing about his wife. Dusty asked the fellow how come he lost his wife, and the fellow said: "Just lucky, I guess..."

Which reminded Dusty about the time he was just about broke and got married and he asked the preacher how much he wanted and the preacher said: "Oh, anything you want to give me will be all right." So Dusty gave him a dollar. The preacher looked at the coin a long time and Dusty said: "Just don't stand there looking at that half buck give me my change..."

Dusty told about the time Hank Thompson was knocked unconscious by a line-drive from Andy Seminick's bat and Hank was taken to the hospital for an X-ray. Dusty explained: "The X-ray showed nothing in the head and the docs said Hank had a skull 1 3-4 inches thick and that's even thicker than mine."

But Dusty wasn't dumb enough to cost himself dough. He explained that, too. "First time I got the thumb from an umpire. Durocher horned in and told me to stick around. So I get a wire from league headquarters fining me 50 bucks. Durocher got stuck for $200 and we're both warned next time will cost us more.

"A few days later I get the thumb again, and again Durocher horns in and says, 'stick around,' but I told him, 'not for this country boy. I'm heading for the bench.'"

And that reminded Dusty of the time he joined the club and was assigned to room with Bob Hofman (CQ). As Dusty tells it: "The first night Hofman orders a big dinner sent up to the hotel room and I'm worried because I ain't got much dough.

"Just as the waiter raps on the door, Hofman disappears into the bathroom and I'm stuck for $31. Hofman says: 'Think nothing of it it would have cost you $100 in New York.'

"Next trip around the circuit, get a chance to order up a big dinner and when the waiter raps on the door, Hofman starts for the bathroom again but I grab him and say: Oh, no you don't I've been waiting a month to get in there You pay the bill.'"

Dusty assured everybody that he's never under pressure pinch-hitting because, he said: "If you're dumb like me there's no pressure." But you'll agree he's far from dumb.