Raftsman's Journal

Premature Matrimony.

Marriage is a divine and beautiful arrangement. It was designed by providence not solely as the means of keeping up population, or as a mere social and economical convenience, but as the blending of two spirits into one—the masculine representing wisdom, and the feminine affection. When there is a true spiritual affinity between the two, then the design is accomplished.

Premature marriages are among the greatest evils of the times; and it would not be a bad idea in these days of reform, if an Anti-marrying-in-a-hurry Society were instituted. Now-a-days, people leap into the magic life-circle with no more consideration than they would partake of a dinner—little thinking that, when once in, they are there until their end comes. There is little, sometimes no mutual analysis of disposition, and comparison of taste and affections. They seem to fancy that, if there are any discrepancies, the fatal Gordian knot, which can be seldom cut and never untied, will harmonize all.

The numbers who have felt this truth—the numbers still feeling it to their heart's core—are incalculable. They recognize it as the great mistake of their lives. The chain is not to them a silken one, but a cable of iron, that tightens around them more and more, crushing out all hope and energy, substituting hate for love, and eating out with its rust, the very inner life of the soul.

Boys and girls now marry to a greater extent than ever before, instead of waiting until they become full-grown and matured men and women. The young dandy, as soon as he gets out of short jackets, and finds a little furze gathered on his upper lip—and the young miss, as soon as she emerges from the nursery and abbreviated frocks—think they are qualified to assume the most solemn responsibilities of life. And so if "Pa" and "Ma" won't consent, they post off to some Gretna Green, and there take obligations that, in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, they will never cease bitterly to repent.

Marriages should never be the result of fancy. The ball-room and the evening party rarely develop real character. Under the exhilarating influence of the dance, the glare of lights, and the merry squib and joke, the dissolute young man may appear amiable, and the slatternly scold lovable. Matches made at such places, or under similar circumstances, are not of the class that originate in heaven. They more generally are conceived in the opposite place, and bring forth only iniquity.

The true way to learn each other is to do it at home, in the parlor, in the kitchen, and on occasions that test the temper. We see the result of these unions in the almost daily divorces that are taking place, in the running away of husbands, leaving their wives and children to starve and in the elopement of wives. Not only this, but we witness it in broken-spirited men, made old in the prime of life, struggling on for food, and clothing, and shelter, and in women cross, dirty, sluttish, and wrinkled.

It would be quite impossible for us to depict faithfully the multitude of physical and moral evils that result from these sinful alliances—for sinful they are. They ruin the body, corrupt the morals, and stultify the mind. And the result does not stop with husband and wife. There are the children. They partake of the feebleness and vices of the parents, both physical and moral, and go out into the busy world stunted and gnarled. God pity them!

We would not be understood as speaking against the institution of marriage. It is holy, beautiful, and beneficent. But let every one take his mate or none. Let not the brave eagle pair with the stupid owl, nor the gentle dove with the carrion crow. Like should have like. It is a glorious sight to see two old people, who have weathered the storms and basked in the sunshine of life together, go down the gentle declivity of time, with no angers, nor jealousies, nor hatreds garnered up against each other, and looking with hope and joy to the everlasting youth of heaven, where they two shall be one forever. That is the true marriage—for it is the marriage of spirit with spirit. Their love is woven into a woof of gold, that neither time, nor death, nor eternity can sever.