Palladium Of Virginia And The Pacific Monitor

LEWISBURG.
WEDNESDAY. DECEM. 3, 1823.

FOR THE PALLADIUM.

A few evenings ago I was amusing myself in reading a beautiful Eastern tale, in which was played off a host of Necromancers, Magicians, Genii, &c. &c. 'Strange superstition' said I, 'how is it possible, that a man can be a dupe to such folly' However, my imagination began to play, and rove from east to west. and from north to South, and to enquire, if any nation was as foolish as the Arabian and Persians? On a little further investigation, I find the Egyptians were alike slaves to the same superstitious notions; the Romans had their diviners, who decided the fate not only of individuals, but of the whole empire, even from the entrails of some slain animal-the flight of a bird, was often sufficient to seal the destiny of some contemplated act. The Britons too, had their Druids, and still have their Gypsies And are we to stop here? no, we too have our observers of times and seasons, &c &c. Aunt Mauddy, is remarkably governed by fortunate and unfortunate days. and relates the following melancholy circumstance, as an evidence of the fact, that days have an influence on our good or bad fortune: Hans Vanspreigler, was an uncommonly promising lad, not given to any of the prevailing vices of his days; he loved his plough and field--he rose with the lark, and as blithe; nothing charmed so much as a prospect of a fine crop. Catharine Gumpearce, as blooming as the rose, and as brisk as a bee, who for domestic economy none could equal; soon captivated the young heart of Hans: Hans soon broke his mind to Catharine, who after a few coquettish freaks, consented to leave the gay, airy, and unsubstantial land of celibacy, for the more solid, real and substantial one of matrimony. Well be it so, they sent for the parson, and was married fast enough; but alack! a day! it happened to be Friday, the most unfortunate day of the seven; and if you doubt, listen to the sequel: Poor Hans, soon became fond of loose company; fond of the tavern, and in a word, from bad to worse, until he broke poor Caty's heart, and finally his neck! Here aunt Mauddy will stop, look quite serious, and then exhort her young friends to have a care, not to undertake any important concern on one of those unfortunate days: such as, matrimony. purchasing a farm removing from one place to another, starting on a journey, &c. &c. Now in the general, I love aunt Mauddy, or she is really a very good sort of a woman, quite free from that foul practice of backbiting her neighbors, her friend, or even her enemy; a crime, in my opinion, which even makes the Devil blush. As I said above, I love aunt Mauddy, and am cautious not to fret her. but when she comes out with the story of poor Hans and Catharine, I cannot but smile, and say why aunt, what has days and times to do with this thing? and hardly can refrain from quoting Galatians 4, 10. but for fear she might call it an interpolation, I am wise enough to hold my tongue. But this only makes the matter worse, for she instantly launches forth in defence of her hobby, and can tell for fifty years back, the serious blunders that have been committed, in not attending to her wholesome advice. Well aunt,' I would say, 'I know many, who were not married on Friday, and yet they have had many misfortunes; some have broke their hearts, and some their necks,' and some--here she would stop me, by exclaiming, their own fault, their own fault; and their cases are quite different. Now Mr. Printer, what are we to do in this matter? for my aunt's influence seems to operate very extensively, her proselytes are numerous, so much so, as to bear down all opposition; and I am not sure, she will not give you a boxing, if she should find this in your Paper: and further have a care of Friday, do not publish on that unfortunate day; if you do, aunt Mauddy will read you down, in the twinkling of an eye. I could tell you more about what she says, respecting the powers of the Moon, that Miss Luna governs all things, both animate and inanimate, the Moon must be consulted when you buy, improve, settle, plough, sow, reap, gather into barns, &c. &c. when you make your gardens, kill your hogs and beeves, cut your wood and make your fires, and such like: I would say more, but I am half a convert to the doctrine of the Moonites already, and should I go over to their side, this would stare me in the face most audaciously. What is to be done, to come at any thing like certainty on this subject? cannot we make some kind of a The mo Hydro, Luno Sophical machine, so as to ascertain this matter, to a dead certainty? should we succeed, depend upon it, we would immortalize our names, and make our fortunes; for in that case, crops would never fail, timber would be as durable as brass; and better still, government would apply to us, to know when to launch their 74's and 36's; and indeed, it may measurably be owing to the Moon's influence, that so many of the government officers fail in their financial concerns; this would explain the Rip Rap concern, and the whole of that legerdemain, which is so beautifully exhibited in the "political horse race" And further, it might eventually give some clue to the Federal party, how to get up again, for it must have been the influence, either of some unlucky day, or the power of the Moon, that brought them down, in a word, it would be the 'philosopher's stone,' in effect, which has cost so much toil and pain Ah Redheifer, Luna must have done thy job for thee; but call upon aunt Mauddy, or the subscriber, and see our notes, machinery, &c. &c. and thou needst not to despair.

PHIL DOUBTFUL.