The Miners' Express

A FAMILY
DROPPING
INTO
TEA

I am at the head of a small but well ordered
household, and blessed with a scientific husband.
If there is any thing I pride myself upon, it is
having things neat and nice. I hate being put
out of my way—it fidgets me; and if there is one
thing in particular that ruffles my smooth tem-
per, it is the awful habit my husband has of
bringing unexpected friends to lunch, breakfast,
dinner, tea or supper, as the case may be. How
often have I said to him, "My dear John, no-
body can be more happy to see my friends than I
am; no one more happy to be introduced to
new ones; but do not take me unawares; let
me know in time to have something prepared."
But alas. it was all in vain My dear husband
knows nothing of housekeeping, and has no idea
how hurtful it is to my feelings to see what would
be a comfortable little supper for two, put before
ten. He can't conceive the horror of not having
enough milk for tea. and during that meal
being obliged to send Jane for more; and then.
some body knocking at the door during her ab-
sence, my poor deaf mary answering the sum-
mons, and bringing the most absurd name or
message.

"My dear Aunt," said my niece, as she enter-
ed the room one evening, "I have just had a let-
ter to say that poor little Annie is very ill, and
mamma wishes me to go home and nurse her, so
will you just let Mary carry my bag to the rail
road, for I must be off as soon as possible, to get
there in time for tea; it doesn't take more than a
quarter of an hour, so I shall have plenty of time
if I start directly.'

"Certainly, my dear," I replied, then you will
leave Robert with me.

"Yes, Aunt, I think so, if you please. There
is no occasion for his going home, and he always
enjoys himself so much with you, that I think it
is a pity to curtail his visit.'

"Well, now, my dear, go and get ready, or
you will be too late," said I, as I rang for Mary
Jane answered the bell. "Jane just send Ma-
ry to me."

"Yes mum."

"Mary," said I, when she appeared, in my
loudest tone of voice, I wish you to carry Miss
Mordaunt's box to the station; she is going home
this evening; get ready directly.

"Yes mum; and please could I stay and drink
tea with mother this evening; she lives close by
the station."

I considered a little, then in a moment of
weakness, I thundered out "Yes.

Mary courtesied and departed.

"And now, Jane," said I, when my niece and
Mary were fairly gone, bring up tea, and tell
your master and Master Robert.

"Master 's out mum; and said he shouldn't be
home to tea, but would have a quiet cup by him-
self, like, when he did come.

"Well then, Jane, you need not bring up the
urn for master Robert and me. The black ket-
tle will do. Here Robert, my dear said I to my
nephew, as I handed him his cup, sit there by
the fire. We'll have our tea cosily together.'

So I drew the small table, with my small Rock-
ingham tea-pot, and the black kettle, and his
thick bread and butter, and my muffin between
us; and we sat, one on each side, of the fire as
comfortable as could be. Just then there was a
ring at our bell. What can that be Robert?'
said I.

"The post, perhaps, Aunt,—or my boots come
from being mended."

"Please mum, its master and two foreign gen-
tlemen," said Jane, as she entered, looking
much flurried.

"Good Heavens! cried I, as I rose precipitate.
ly, upsetting as I did so, our small table, so that
nearly all our store of milk was on the floor,
mixing with the tea and water, and bearing in
its current my unfortunate muffin, just as the
gentlemen entered the room.

"Why my dearest Anne, what a state you are
in," said my husband, after he had introduced
me to the two foreigners. In answer to my hus-
band's remark, I faltered out, that "I did not ex-
pect him." And it never struck me till after.
wards, how strange it must have appeared to
foreigners that the sight of a husband unexpect.
edly should cause the wife to upset her tea-table.
But now my mind was much relieved by my
faithful Jane bringing in the best tea service and
silver tea pot, which she deposited on the din.
ing table. Then she quickly cleared away my
broken Rockingham, the black kettle, muffin,
etc; but to my horror replaced the milk jug on
the table.

"What Jane, is there no more milk ?" Whis.
pered I.

"No mum, not a drop," whispered she in re-
turn. "I had just given the kitten the last when
master rung.

"Then you must fetch some directly," whispered I. And now, with the hissing urn and
the best tea service before me, and the prospect
of more milk speedily, I thought my troubles at
an end.

"Annie, my dear, you have given me no
milk," said my husband.

"I thought you did not like it," said I, in a
rather loud and significant tone; endeavoring to
make signs that I had none. But my poor hus.
band could never take a hint, so he passed his
cup all the same, and I was obliged to tell him
he must wait till Jane brought it up.

Another ring—"Ah, that reminds me," said
my husband, "that I asked Belmont and his wife
to come and take a friendly cup of tea with us.'

"Mr. and Mrs. Belmont!" repeated I.

"Yes, they are on their bridal tour; she is a
most elegant match for Belmont in money mat-
ters."

"Mr. and Mrs. Belmont," announced Jane,
with her bonnet and shawl on, ready to go for
the milk.

"Mrs. Mordaunt, allow me to introduce you
to my wife, said Mr. Belmont to me. The lady
bowed coldly, as if she felt that she was an ele.
gant woman, and an excellent match;—and now
behold us! My cheeks flushed, my hair untidy
no milk, and the elegant bride by my side, ma.
king a placid remark on the weather!

The milk came—the tea was over, and the
company safe in our drawing room; as I led my
bride up, I whispered to Jane when we had been
up about five minutes to come and say somebody
wanted to speak to me, as I must see about
the supper. The little girl answered, I gravely
asked the bride to excuse me for a moment, and
then rose and left the room.

"Jane, just go and fetch me two shillings
worth of tarts and cheese-cakes,'' said I. Jane
ran for her bonnet. "And Jane," I cried after
her "before you go, ask master Robert to go to
the bell if it rings while you are out." Yes,
mum," she answered in the distance "I won-
der if she heard me at that distance," thought I,
"but surely she would not have answered if she
had not." Just as I had finished my prepara-
tions, there was a ring at the bell; I will wait
and see who it is, thought I before going up
stairs again. So I waited, but no one came' the
bell rang again: I ran up to the drawing-room
wildly. and opened the door; the bride stared, I
shut it again; Robert was not there. "Robert,"
cried I at the top of my voice; faintly I heard,
"yes aunt.'

"Where in the world are you?" I cried angri
ly.

"In bed aunt."

"Oh, you naughty unfeeling boy to go to bed
when you can be of so much use," I screamed.
as I rushed down the stairs to open the door.
I did open the door, and what met my astonished
gaze?—the Heriotts, the Blanters, and the Cal-
lers! all in full dress, guests my husband had
invited to meet the bride!

I muttered, I blushed, I made excuses, which
of course made every thing worse, and eventu-
ally led the new comers into my drawing room;
and there, what met my sight? one of the for-
eigners on the floor in strong convulsions. My
husband was trying to revive him, he held up
his head, while the other foreigner was rushing
about the room like one distracted, seizing every thing in the shape of a scent-bottle, which he
applied either to the nose, or spilled over his
face; and, at the other end of the room the pla-
cid bride had fainted in the arms of her husband
who was endeavoring to revive her.

"Let Jane bring some cold water, and you
get your salvolatile, and, stay and send Mary
for Dr Rent' cried my husband.

"Alas!" shrieked I; I have no servant at
home. " I left the room, I ran and fetched the
salvolatile, and as I returned I saw the astonish.
ed Robert, wrapped in a dressing gown of my
husband's, peeping in at the door, and sobbing,
"I didn't want to go to bed: but Jane said I was
to go to bed. and so I did." Regardless of his