The Prison Mirror

Eddie and Ede

On account of I got sompin to tell you,
Myrt, bend one of your shell-pinks around
this way while I unload. First you better
give me--The air, you say? Now, Myrt,
how can a nice young lady like yourself
expect to run a cigar stand if you keep on
insultin' your customers? Oh, I ain't to
feel insulted? Whaddyoumean, I can't be
insulted? Okay, then, we'll skip it. Gimme
the cigarettes and gum.

Maybe you heard or read about the
swing band that's got an engagement at
the Atler Hotel. You have? Well, kiddo,
did you read the blatts this ayem? Well,
you should have. You ought to do a little
readin' now and then to keep yourself
hepped up. Anyhow, I'll dish out sompin
that the papers didn't print on account of
they didn't have the inside like I did. Sure,
it's about the band-and two of their
dancers, one male and one female billed as
Eddie and Ede.

It's about Eddie and Ede that I'm go-
ing to tell you, and how the wiles and
guiles of femiles work. What am I talkin'
about? Now you just lissen while I un-
fold.

In the blatts this morning there was a
piece that smells very much like a publi-
city stunt, but I know it ain't! It's the
McCoy. How do I know? As I told you
before, I know the insideI should, you
say, on account of I've been in the inside
so often I really don't know what the out-
side looks like? Really, Myrt! Better wait
on that guy.

Well, snooks, when I heard that Ned
Neddington's Ninnies were going to play
a two-weeks' hitch in the Atler Brawl
Room I recalled that I knew a guy who
used to be with that band. I looked up the
bill and found that he was still with them.
You guessed it: it was Eddie. I knew him
when, so I figured to bust in and gladhand
him when the ork hit town, which was
last night.

I had quite a time gittin' backstage, but
I did. I busted right into his dressing
room and hollered, "Hiyah, Eddie!"
He turned around and said, "For the
love of Mike! Sunshine!"
That's what the boys used to call me,
Myrt, but don't you ever try it, on account
of I don't like it so hot no more.
There we stood for a couple of minutes,
pumphandlin' and gaga-ing back and
forth. He looked the same to me.
Four
years in the flagstops and a winter in big
time didn't change him none. Still had the
patentleather hair, and a big grin in front
of a mapful of even crockery.

"Well, kid," I said, "I guess you're in
now, eh?"

"What do you think?" he asked back.

"Nice going, pally. By the way, I see
you on a double. Who is she?"
I noticed he looked solemn when I asked
him that. He said, "She's swell people,
Sunshine, and a good hoofer."

"If she's swell people to you, Eddie,
then that's what she is."
He turned back to his dressing table and
said, "Pull up a pew and squat while I
get fixed up. We're on in twenty minutes."
Well, Myrt, we gassed for about five
minutes like a couple of spinster dress-
makers. All of a sudden the door opened
and in wafted the sweetest breath of
spring I ever saw. What do you mean, I
can't see a breath of spring? Well, skip
it: it don't make any difference anyhow.
There she stood, Myrt, in the doorway.
Right away I thought "Alongside of you,
baby, Venus is a bum!" What I mean is
that one look at her would make a guy
throw away his books on plane geometry,
and start studying solid geometry.

"Oh!" she twittered as she lamped me.
"Oh-Oh!". I said.

"Oh," said Eddie, getting up. "Ede, I
want you to meet a friend of mine. Ede,
this is Sunshine."

"How do you do," she chirped.

"Not so bad," I flipped back.
There the three of us stood. I looked at
her, she looked at Eddie, but who he
looked at I can't say for sure, but I can
guess. Her big, blue lamps sparkled. Final-
ly the spell broke. She said, "Eddie, be-
fore we go on there is something I'd like
to tell you."

"Sure, Ede. Shoot."
She glanced at me, and I felt like the
fifth wheel on a wagon. But I didn't make
a move to lam. Gosh, Myrt, I was glued.
My feet wouldn't budge.

"He's oke, Ede," Eddie said, meaning
me.
She turned and closed the door, then
said, "Well, that's all right, because it'll
be known tomorrow, or tonight."
Eddie said, "What do you mean?

"I'm getting married," she replied. Just
like that.
I could see that Eddie was floored. He
didn't move. All he said was "When?"

"As soon as the law allows. How long
that'll be I don't really know.

"You have to wait five days," I put in,
and felt like a louse.
Eddie started to wander around the
room. He stopped and asked, "What's the
big rush, Ede?"

"I just want to get married as soon as
I can, Eddie."

"It'll bust up the act," Eddie put in.
"Besides, oh, nuts! I've asked you a hun-
dred times to marry me, but you always
turned me down. Who's the guy anyway?
Do I know him? Someone in the band?"

"Yes, you know him."
Eddie started on a tour of the room
again, and he was plenty burned.
"He
must be a swell guy!" he fumed.

"He is. Eddie!"

"Yeah, he must be! Everybody in the
outfit knows how I feel about you. Then
this mug steps in, and phfft goes Eddie.
Well, Ede, that means I got to get an-
other partner. Hate to do it, too, especial-
ly now that we're in big time."

"Just because I get married doesn't mean
you'll have to get another partner."

"No? Let me tell you something, Ede.
I'm not going to let you-—"
Just then, Myrt, a guy pounded on the
door and hollered "You're on in a couple
minutes!"
Eddie started for the door. "Come on,"
he said.
Ede took his arm and said, "Eddie,
won't you kiss me for good luck?"

"I don't see why I should."

Continued on Page 2, Column 4
Eddie and Ede
(Continued from Page One)

"But I do! You see, Eddie, you're the guy I'm going to marry."

I took my cue and lammed.

So you see, Myrt, that's what ain't in the blatts. The inside dope I mean. As I said, the story ain't just publicity stunt. It's gonna be a real hookup right in front of the band a week from tonight. Now, Myrt, I could get us a ringside-.