The Beaver Herald

LITTLE INCIDENT PROVED VALUE OF HOT WATER BAG.

Wasn't Applied In Exactly the Prescribed Manner, but It Aroused Bedridden Man to Sudden and Murderous Action.

"There is nothing like a hot water bottle on a cold winter night!" observed Mrs. Crabbley. "It warms up the sheets so quickly! I'm sure I would be cold all night if it weren't for the hot water bottle."

"It is awfully good for babies, too, a hot water bottle is," seconded Mrs. Nippkins. "It cures the colic in no time, and it helps my rheumatism."

"Well," said Crabbley, adding a masculine tone to the conversation, "the hot water bag is all right when it is hot. It will heat the bed all right if you can endure the scorching of your toes to that end. But when a hot water bag is cold it is the coldest thing on earth. I would as soon have a toad in the bed with me as one of those things when it gets cold. A fellow jerks his feet up pretty lively when the water bag is hot, and he jerks them up still more quickly when it's cold. It is certainly clammy. And kicking it out of bed onto the floor requires a great deal of science and perseverance. Filling a hot water bag is a very difficult performance, that is, to do the job neatly and without scorching yourself. You are supposed to grab the water bag by the ear aggressively to make it behave when you are pouring hot water into it."

"That reminds me," broke in Nippkins, "that one of the most stubborn cases of something or other, I forget what, was once cured by the hot water bag. In the case I speak of it effected an instantaneous and permanent restoration. Wallower had the worst siege of whatever it was that was ever known. It was an aggravated case. The doctors all gave him up. In fact, everybody gave him up except his wife. She continued giving him hot water bag treatments. He would start groaning in the night and she would get up and spatter hot water around and apply the hot water bag. He was flat on his back and couldn't move a muscle and the doctors said there was no hope. At last his wife wore herself out and they hired a male nurse. This male nurse cured Wallower. One night Wallower was suffering terribly. He called for the hot water bottle, and said he wanted it hotter than ever. He wanted it boiling. The male nurse arrived at last, bringing the water bag forcibly by the ear. Just as the nurse was on the point of applying it to Wallower's back the darned ear pulled out and the bag busted and squirted boiling water all over the patient. That cured Wallower. If it hadn't been for the interference of other parties Wallower would have killed that attendant. As it was he rolled him across the floor several times and, if I remember aright, they fought up and down the stairs a couple of times. Hot water restores the strength awfully quick when you get it sudden and unexpectedly like that.