Staunton Vindicator

From the St. Louis Democrat.

ELOPEMENT IN A SKIFF.

THE STORY OF A YOUNG COUPLE WHO ROOSTED ONE
NIGHT ON A SAND BAR.

Yesterday morning as Justice Jecko was
sitting in his office poring over the election
returns and congratulating himself on his
good luck in being swindled out of the nomination for sheriff, a young man from the
rural districts entered and inquired timidly
if the squire was in. Jecko informed him
that he was a justice of the peace, and was
sometimes called squire for short.

"Well." said the young man blushing and
casting his eyes upon the floor, "what has a
fellow got to do in this State when he wants
to get married?"

"The first thing he must do," replied the
justice. "is to get a woman."

"O, is that all! No license? telling it in
church?"

"Nary license-nary church. If he's old
enough, and the girl is old enough, the law
considers they are both big enough, and the
rest is nobody's business."

"That's just as easy as rolling off a log.
Think I'll come to Missouri to live. They
have more freedom here than over in Illinoy
whar I come from. 'Squire," he continued,
laying his hand familiarly on the Judge's
shoulder, "I've got a gal out thar at the door
and she and me are awful anxious to get
spliced. We had a hard time stealing away
from the old folks, and had to come down the
Illinoy river in a skiff. Last night we camped
on a sand-bar, and I tell you it won't do to
put off the gettin' married part any longer.
Susan would never forgive me if it was put
off, because she says there would be talk
about us roosting on the sand bar.

Well, just bring Susan in, and I'll fix
the thing all right in five minutes. Siegwart
the constable, will be here pretty soon, and
he will be the witness.

"All right; she's right out here in front
of a pile of cabbages, and I'll fetch her in at
once."

The young man stepped out and in a mo-
ment returned accompanied by a rosy cheeked
damsel, dressed in red calico with white spots
and wearing a heavy green veil. Lifting up
her veil she said :

"Mister, I don't want to have any foolin'
about this here marriage. If you are a real
squire it's all right; but I have heard of fellows passing themselves off for squires that
was no squires at all."

"See my sign out at the door; ain't
that enough to satisfy you? I'll show you
my commission.

".I seed 'John Jecko. Justice of the Peace
painted on a board, but there ain't nothin
about 'squire on it"

"Oh, it's all the same; we are called Justices in Missouri, and not 'squires."

"Well, go ahead, I'll take you at a venture; but if you fool me you'll catch Hail
Columbia for it some of these days. If you
wasn't a good looking man I would doubt
your word ; but you are too pretty to tell a
lie."

In a short time Siegwart came in, and the
Justice told the young couple to join hands.
They did so, both blushing and looking fondly at each other. In less than the time mentioned the twain were made man and wife,
and when the last word was spoken the bride
stepped up to the Justice, and putting her
lips close to his, said :

"I spose you want to salute the bride,
dont you?"

"Certainly," replied Jecko, and putting
one arm around the plump neck of the lady,
he gave her such a smack that Siegwart
thought a pane of glass was broken.

"Fire away, Squire !" said the bridegroom
"take just as many of them as you can stand
up under ; there's plenty left for me I guess."

You got yours in advance, Thomas, and
the Squire is such a pretty man that he can
have another if he wants it."

The bridegroom then handed the Justice
a ten dollar bill, and told him his first boy
should be named John, and if it was a girl
he'd call her Josephine in honor of the constable. He became communicative, and
told a long story of his courtship and elopement. He said that he and Susan had long
had a hankering after each other, but her
mother wanted her to marry a preacher on
the circuit, who had recently lost his wife,
and had four children who were suffering for
a step mother. Susan did not like the idea
of taking care of other people's children, and
the short and long of it was that one night
they stole away from the neighborhood, and
purchasing a skiff from a fisherman near Perkins, had come down the river to St Louis
to get married. Thomas said if the preacher made any fuss about it he would give
him a sound thrashing when he returned.—
The happy couple put up at Barnum's intending to remain two or three days to see
the sights of the city.