Alexandria Advertiser And Commercial Intelligencer

MAN DOCK
SUBSTITUTE FOR A DRY DOCK.

FOR the benefit of presidential philosophy, and for the promotion of "science falsely so called" we republish the annexed article from the Glasgow Courier. It is conjectured that an envoy extraordinary and minister plenipotentiary will shortly be dispatched to Scotland, perhaps with two millions of dollars, to learn the details of the art of laying up and preserving, not ships but men. Should the mission succeed as happily as that of Mr. Monroe we may expect that at the opening of the next session of Congress something like the following will be found in that part of the Message which was last year devoted to the subject of a Dry Dock,

"Presuming it will be deemed expedient to expend annually a convenient sum towards providing for the multiplication of the human race, I cannot but recommend that the first appropriation for that purpose may go to the saving what we already possess. No cares, no attentions, can preserve men from rapid decay who remain out of water and exposed to the sun. These decays require the great and constant exertion of our energies to supply the deficiency, and will consume, if continued, a great portion of the time and talents destined to nobler purposes. To avoid this waste it is proposed to add to the city of Washington, a Man Dock, within which our present men may be laid up wet and under cover from the sun. Under these circumstances Philosophy proves that human bodies will remain scarcely at all affected by time. The great abundance of running water which this situation possesses, at heights far above the level of the tide, if employed, as was formerly intended when a Dry Dock was proposed, furnishes the means for soaking and laying up our bodies in a cool and watery bed. And should the measure be found useful here, other depositories for laying up and preserving our citizens may hereafter be undertaken at other places offering the same means. The plans and estimates of the work, prepared by a person of skill in philosophy, will be presented to you without delay, and from this it will be seen that scarcely more labour than has been employed in the production and maturing of one republican is necessary to save the whole."

From the unfavourable aspect of the late elections it is supposed that the president will be solicitous to hasten the business, as rapidly as possible, in order that the Man dock may be finished and ready for the reception of the present administration by the 4th of March, 1805, in case it should then be thought expedient to have them laid up. We understand that a considerable premium will be offered to any person who will invent a portable Man Dock, which the Commander in Chief of the Armies and Navies of the United States may have always about him, so that in case of emergency he may have himself instantly laid up and save the labour of a journey to Carter's Mountain.

Without detaining the reader longer in discussing the uses and conveniences of this newly invented dock, we proceed to the description of the thing, which is as follows.

(Gaz. U. S.