The Virginia Gazette

We hope inserting the following genuine copies of letters, written by a certain pedagogue in this colony, will not be unentertaining to our readers; as they exhibit a picture of the true Bombast, and set the author's merit in the highest point of view.

To Mr. C. I.
SIR,
Gloucester, March 26, 1760.
These are to let you know that I have not lost the memorandum of your exoneration, but, instead of ulcerating your favourable gratuity, I commemorate your pace of indulgence; and I hope, one time or other, to restitute your indulgent favour, and shall ever be safe to true friendship if I should neglect to ratify and confirm you my kind indulgent friend, in waiting so long for your money, which I hope you'll wait without any diffidence or suspicion, and you may rely upon receiving a discharge soon; and you see the purport of my letter is only to desire you to wait with confidence, and your indulgent compliance will beyond measure oblige
Your ever ingratiate friend, and humb. servant.
A. H.

To Mr. E. H.
SIR,
May 9, 1760.
I understand, by an information from several persons (whose word is to be relied on) that you are very angry with me, and make it your business to depreciate me, and predicate the same to such people as you can by your parasitical fitness insinuate or inculcate; which is very clandestine or illegally, for you never had any provocation to malign me by way of predication: Therefore, I think it is as much as any man can do to consummate their vocation, and therefore, as I am bound by the laws of vindication for to clarify myself, I shall, as you testified you had a scholar that could subjugate me by figuring, furnish you with a question for you and your scholar's exercise, which is very extricate, and may be evestigated by the meanest sagacity. And the question is as follows:
There is an elliptick prismoid, or the frustum of an ellip tick cone, whose greatest diameter at top is 2 inches 5 tenths
Least diameter at top,
Greatest diameter at bottom,
Least diameter at bottom,
Perpendicular length,
I demand the solid content?

To Mr. C. B.
SIR,
May 19, 1760.
I desire you would be so indulgent as to lend me a small dictionary for a few days, and send the same by your children in the morning; I shall think myself bound in gratitude to restitute your indulgent favour, whose ready compliance will infinitely oblige
Your instituted friend, and humble servant,
A. H.

To Mr. R. H.
SIR,
Wednesday, June 11, 1760.
I understand you've compelled your daughter to revolt from under my tuition, for hearing of her being insulted or derogated by her confederates, which I think your information is chimerical, or without foundation; for you could not receive an indication so apparently as to rely on it, which is contrary to my instituted orders or negotiation: Therefore, the purport of my letter is only to admonish you to transmute your daughter's abdication to a transient apology, rather than pay your money for so short a time of initiation or cultivation; and so remains, Sir,
Your most ratified friend
A. H.

The Rev. Mr. D---'s answer to the foregoing.
SIR,
T--- is a deplorable defect in our policy that there is not an order instituted to take cognizance of yours and your confederates revolt from common sense, which you have insulted, and from which you have derogated. "Should there be an information made that your brain is chi-merical, it would not be without foundation. I know not the purport of your negotiation, but from a transient view of your apostasy from the proper design of speaking and writing, which is to convey our ideas to others, I can easily conjecture that every article of the negotiation which will be ratified by you will be for the cultivation of stupidity, which you have industriously promoted ever since your initiation into its service. I therefore admonish you to make an abdication of your folly, and a transmutation of your pedantry, for sober sense, which is best understood both by the learned and vulgar."

Reverend Sir,
Brunswick, October 4, 1764.
The many paternal obligations I have received at your hands induces me to address myself to you in these lines, hoping they'll find you and yours in good health, for which I am never wanting in my prayers to implore. Your fraternal favours to me I imprint in the indelible characters of my heart, as a monument of your propitious favours. The method I was indispensably obliged to put in execution (to render my purposes in my demigration tenable) was the only source of a disordered spirit, which I incurred by my affairs being so ineffably intricate at my coming away, which was at that present time too inexpugnable to be regulated to the compensation of my creditors. It would not be worth any of my creditors while to put a prosecution in execution that would plunge me in the ocean of unnecessary expense, as I shall make a discharge with as much expedition as possible; for any person to sue me would only render their chance less prevalent, for the generality of mankind (I believe) is in my box, for our Burgesses and Magistrates are frequent in prison, but they break out. As you have been affable to me in matters of great importance, I hereby assert that I will not procrastinate paying you, but the same would perform with the greatest rigour imaginable was I as able as I am willing, but I hope your stay now will not be very permanent. If I could transmigrate myself in some of your inherent neighbours (as some Heathen authors assert the transmigration of souls) I reckon the clamorous exclamations was sonorous enough to the highest degree of depreciation to deafen the ears of the auditor. I think I can, when I am contemplating on some important affairs, hear the echo of their clamorous imprecations sound in my thoughts, which fills my mind with so factuous a condition that I am obliged (for consolation) to retire contrite; but as there is the same providence depend on, and as I know God is omnipotent, I have intrepidity enough to think their fortresses are not so impregnable but I shall impair their forces. We have but indifferent crops, occasioned by drought; for we have not had a rain, to wet things to the roots, since May. We have a great scarcity for money, and peoples Negroes that is arrested sells for 30l. that would a year agone fetched 15 l. but there is so much counterfeit in circulation that a man must be on his guard that receives it. As useless polyloquy is vain repetitions, I conclude, and put my pen in charge, only at this present time, to let you know I want to be one among, Reverend Sir,
Your faithful servants,
A. H.

N. B. I hope you'll send me an answer by the bearer. I have been prodigious sick, and am in the same circle now, though better. Excuse haste.
A. H.

To the Rev. Mr. DIXON, in Kingston parish, Gloucester.