Cairo Evening Times

FUN AHEAD.
Look out for fun on Monday and Tuesday evenings next. As a mirthful sample of John G. Saxe's productions we publish the following clipped from the Charlestown (Mass.) Advertiser:

The Stammering Wife.
BY JOHN G. SAXE.

When, deeply in love with Miss Emily Prine
I vowed, if the maiden would only be mine,
I would always endeavor to please her-
She blushed her consent, tho' the stuttering lass
Said never a word, except, "You're an ass-
An ass-an ass-iduous teaser!"

But when we were married, I found to my ruth
The stammering lady had spoken the truth,
For often, in obvious dudgeon,
She'd say—if I ventured to give her jog
In the way of reproof—"You're a dog—you're a dog-
A dog-matic curmudgeon!

And once when I said, we can hardly afford
This extravagant style, with our moderate hoard.
And hinted we ought to be wiser,
And fretfully said—"You're a Jew—you're a Jew—
She looked, I assure, exceedingly blue
A very ju-dicious adviser!"

Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and arduous work,
I begged her to go to a neighbor.
She wanted to know why I made such a fuss,
And saucily said, "You're a cus-cus-cus-
You were always a-cus-tomed to labor!"

Out of temper at last with the insolent dame
And feeling that Madame was greatly to blame
To scold me instead of caressing,
I mimicked her speech—like a churl as I am
And angrily said, "You're a dam-damn-dam-
A dam-age instead of a blessing!'