Palladium Of Virginia And The Pacific Monitor

FROM THE WINCHESTER REPUBLICAN.

The following is communicated as original.

If it be so, we hope to hear again from the author.

Full fifty years of life have run
Since first my hapless lot began.
The first were spent in childish play;
And joy and sorrow shared the day;
Joy reigned within my infant breast;
And sorrow was a transient guest;
Pleasure there held her happy reign,
And joys were there, ne'er known since then.
But ah! we know all worldly pleasure
Is dealt to us with scanty measure;
For youth came on, and Cupid then
Encroached on Pleasure's happy reign.
Love's victim then, I soon became
Mild, gentle, tractable and tame:
With sorrow pictured in my face,
To my loved fair I told my case,
Begged she'd bestow a look of pity,
And listen to my plaintive ditty.
But Cupid had not done his part,
He had not touched her hardened heart:
She laughed to hear me talk of love,
Nor could my tears her pity move;
I sobbed and begged, but all in vain,
She only triumphed in my pain.
Left the jade and went my way,
Resolved to try some other day;
For well I know that woman's mind
Changes and turns, as turns the wind;
And thought perhaps another day
Her mind might change and favour me.
But she was firm, could you believe it-
The sentence passed, my doom was settled,
And I must own I was quite nettled
To think, that all my care and trouble
Were treated as an empty bubble.
Such was my rage and hasty fury,
That home I went, and in a hurry
I took an oath I've oft repented,
And for my conduct base relented:
I swore by all things, good and bad,
By heaven above, and by my head:
That whilst on earth I shall remain,
I'd treat the sex with great disdain:
Swore I'd no longer live in folly,
But with my friends be kind and jolly:
I'd lead a life remote from sorrow,
And view the marriage state with horror.
And now I find my wretched state
Is settled in the book of fate;
Here must I pass my wretched life,
And end my days without a wife;
For now grown old and ugly too,
Too late my oath I sorely rue;
For women hate and men revile me.
Prudes shun my sight, coquettes beguile me:
The girls and I cannot agree,
Though I love them, they won't love me.
Thus I'm deprived of every joy,
And sorrow I have without alloy.
At home I lead a wretched life,
As all men do without a wife:
Midst dirt and tatters down I lay,
And sneeze and snore my time away,
And at the slow return of morn,
I to a jovial crew return,
Who like myself have never married,
Not so by choice, but all have tarried.
And fondly played the pretended lover,
Until their day of grace is over.
Now when we meet, it is our pleasure
To abuse the women without measure;
To drink and game, doze and sleep,
And then go home, and sigh and weep.
This plan of life, you will agree,
Is but a plan of misery;
And could I now retrace my life,
I soon would choose a faithful wife.
Whose heart would all my sorrows share.
Soften my grief and soothe my care,
And from my bosom drive despair.
Now as a landmark set on high,
All point at me that pass me by
Compare me to a sheep or hog,
Or old raccoon in hollow log;
Whilst some who are devoid of strife.
Call me a fool without a wife.

BACHELOR,