Phenix Gazette

From Ackerman's "Forgot-me-Not"
THE TEMPTING MOMENT.
Seven towns contended for the distinction of
having given birth to Homer. Had Gilbert
Grimes, a man, as I hope to show, of no
contemptible genius in his way, been the subject
of a similar discussion, one might have ven-
tured a shrewd guess at the place of his na-
tivity. I only know that he was not born in
Scotland, for every town in that kingdom has
unequivocally disclaimed the honor. A small
market town in Kent, however, if not the place
of his birth, was the theatre of his achieve-
ments. He was the son of reputable parents,
who were, to use the significant expression of
a certain sect, "tolerably well to do in the
world."

In the cranium of Gilbert Grimes the organ
of appropriation was very early and promi-
nently developed. His infancy even was fruitful in
evidence of this fact. Among his brothers
and sisters he was constantly effecting transfers
of property, chiefly invested in sugar-plums
and gingerbread,—from the elder by stratagem,
and from the younger by force. His incursions
on the larder and the store closet were also tru-
ly formidable: many a currant tart, which had
been designed to solace the stomachs and be-
smear the faces of some five or six expectant
urchins, was prematurely diverted to his sole
use and adornment.

His genius continued to unfold itself as he
grew into boyhood; and accordingly, we find
him, at the early age of seven, the ringleader of
a conspiracy for the abstraction of certain ap-
ples from the al fresco bazaar of a female fruit
merchant, who, having been ground into for-
getfulness by an itinerant professor of the or-
gan, afforded to the juvenile depredators their
opportunity, and the world an example of
the disastrous consequences of taking Mor-
pheus as a sleeping partner in the concerns of
trade. This fragment of Gilbert's history, a-
rising out of the first "tempting moment" of
which he had availed himself in public, was
communicated to me by the master of the free
school, who, happening to be under the opera-
tion of shaving on the opposite side of the mar-
ket place, witnessed the exploit.

In order to dissolve certain associations in
which feats of a similar kind had involved him,
his parents determined on sending him to a
boarding school in a remote county: a mea-
sure, however, which rather tended to foster
the talents it was designed to discourage. He
early distinguished himself by sallying forth
from the window of his dormitory, one moon-
light night, with his pillow case as a succes-
neum for a sack, and returned loaded with the
spoils of a neighboring garden. This notable
foray was followed by complaints from the pro-
prietor for the spoiling of his garden, and from
the school mistress for the spoiling of the pil-
low case. He was mulcted of six weeks pocket
money to indemnify the one, and soundly flog-
ged for the satisfaction of the other. The flog-
ging was, of course, set down to the fortune of
war, for which there was no remedy but pa-
tience and beef brine. Not so the mulcture—
for a second and undiscovered attack upon the
apple orchard reduced the cost of his former
booty fifty per cent.

At this period of his life he was a tall, but
ill-proportioned and ungainly boy; and, altho'
he bore his head as upright as most persons,
he had a remarkable dislike to looking any one
full in the face, but requited the glance of ano-
ther by the instant aversion of his own. His
very limbs appeared to be rather acquired than
natural property, and to have belonged origi-
nally to some one else. As he could not be
kept at school all his life, it became necessary
for his friends to determine on his future path
in the world. The very confused and indis-
tinct notions which he entertained of meum and
tuum, were formidable objections to his
embarking in trade. The profession of arms
was repugnant alike to his views and his taste,
inasmuch as little was to be gained from it but
laurels, which he well knew bore no fruit. The
organ of destructiveness was not powerfully
enough developed in his phrenological system
to ensure success to him in physic; and it
would have been stark madness to consign his
peculiar abilities to so contracted a sphere as
the church. It was, therefore, at last resolved,
that, in order to secure him against a prema-
ture acquaintance with the practice of the law,
he should devote a few years to the study of the
theory; and he was accordingly articled to Ni-
cholas Nightshade, a pettifogging attorney in
his native town.

Nicholas had slidden, I will not say risen,
into considerable practice and comparative
wealth by undertaking business with which
no respectable member of the profession would
pollute his hands. He was a short, round figure,
of a dark complexion, with an overhanging fore-
head, bushy brows, small but piercing eyes, a
nose somewhat hooked, and a nether lip, which
projecting considerably beyond the upper,
imparted a singularly shrewd, but sinister ex-
pression to his countenance. He was of rath-
er frugal habits; wine he never tasted; it had,
indeed, been too generous a liquor for him—
in vino veritas. Porter was his nectar; but
though he quaffed it freely, it never muddled
his brain, the narcotic and deleterious ingre-
dients of his potations appearing to have been
absorbed by his heart, for it was poisoned to
its very core.

Gilbert Grimes' friends, who were a worldly
and far-casting set, in placing him with
such a man, had speculated upon his discov-
ering, in his new profession, a field for legalized
depredation so extensive as to leave him little
inducement for exploring any other. But they
calculated not upon the force of genius; for,
before the term of his probation had expired,
he eloped with his master's only daughter; and
it was, doubtless, in the hurry and confusion
attendant upon their flight, that he happened
to pack up in his portmanteau a few articles of
that alchemised ragout of Threadneedle street,
which, in strictness, belonged to the Night-
shade could have well spared his daughter;
but the loss of his money touched him and he
vowed revenge. The newspaper which an-
nounced the marriage of Gilbert Grimes
contained an advertisement offering a reward
for his apprehension. Gilbert who had no
no idea of so much money passing out of the
family, quickly surrendered himself before his
father-in-law the following morning at break-
fast time, and claimed the reward. This piece
of assurance would have astounded any one
than Nightshade, who was a wholesale dealer
in the article.

"Ghrimes?" said he "you are a villain!"
"I know it," was the reply; "you have kept
your news until they are somewhat stale."
"Give me back the money you have purloined
from me," rejoined Nightshade.
"I may scarcely do that," answered Grimes
"seeing that a portion of it is already spent,
and, if you withdraw your countenance, I shall
have the greater need of the remainder. But
why this fruitless anger? The evil, if such it
be, is done, and past remedy, there," he added
flinging down a certificate of his marriage,
"the noose is tied as tightly as you can desire."
"Not quite," said the other, "and, therefore,
with the hangman for priest, we will draw it
somewhat closer."
"What! hang a man in his honey moon?"
"I would gibbet thee at the very altar, thou
measureless knave!" said Nightshade.
"Nay," replied Grimes, "that were poor re-
quital for the forbearance of one who has so
long had the power of elevating you to the dis-
tinction which your kindness proposes for him.
Remember the forged deed!"
"I am not likely to forget it," said Night-
shade, "but who think you, will now believe
you on your oath?"
"Doubtless," was Grimes' answer, "it were
worse than folly to do so, but the deed itself
were good evidence me thinks."
"And that is safe in yonder iron chest," said
the other, exultingly.
"Are you well advised of that?" was the re-
joinder.
Nightshade, alarmed for the first time, hur-
ried across the room, applied a key to the
spring lock of the chest, gazed in it for an in-
stant, then flinging down the lid, snatched a
pistol from the mantelpiece, and presented it
at Grimes, exclaiming, in a voice expressive of
rage and determination, "Villain! give me back
the deed this instant, or I will blow out your
brains, though I swing for it to-morrow."
Gilbert eyed him awhile with that hardihood
which I will not dignify by the name of cour-
age, and which nothing but the most determi-
ned villainy could supply; then putting aside
the muzzle of the weapon, he said with a smile
of scorn "I were, indeed but a dull pupil of so
bright a master, did I learn no safer policy from
your instructions than to put the evidence of
your guilt, as well as my person in your pow-
er
"Scoundrel!" thundered the other "where is
the deed?"
"Be assured in good keeping," said Gilbert.
"whence if I revoke not my instructions, it will
be transferred to those, who for their own
sakes, will make such use of it as will scarcely
consist with your safety. And now, my hon-
ored father-in-law, call in your constable, and
away with me to prison, 'an it please you
The countenance of Nightshade fell when he
found himself completely in the power of the
man whom he so lately proposed to crush. He
regarded his hopeful son-in-law, for a few se-
conds, with a fixed and searching look, and
then said, in a tone and manner considerably
softened, "Gibby, you have done that which I
had not expected from your years—you have
outwitted me. I am in my dotage, it is plain,
or you had not thus weathered upon me. But,
no matter, I forgive you With regard to that
same halter, which has somewhat superfluously
embellished our conversation, it would seem
that our claims to it are nearly equal: let it,
therefore, instead of tying us up, tie us toge-
ther. You are my partner from this hour. I
am growing old; my labors are heavy, and you
have given me convincing evidence of your abi-
lity to share the burthen As for your wife, if
she be the daughter of her mother, you will re-
pent your bargain ere your honey-moon be on
the wane. The lot was of your own choosing.
and you must make the best of it Now, go to
your office, and let this morning's conversation
be forgotten as speedily as may be.

From that day the circumstance was never
alluded to by either party, and Gilbert became
an active and useful partner of his late master.
There was but one lawyer besides themselves
in the town, and he, being an honest one, could
not, of course, interfere with their practice—
They might well be termed the friends of the
unfortunate. Did any man, mistaking in the
darkness of the night, a gentleman's house for
his own, and unwilling to disturb the family,
find his way into it without knocking; did he,
entering the fold, relieve the sleeping shepherd
at once of his duty and his charge; or, without
an act of Parliament to back him, did he raise
a loan upon the highway, and any little person-
al conveniences in consequent upon detection
overtake him, he had the comfortable assurance
that, if there were a loophole, either in the law
or in his prison, through which he might es-
cape, Messieurs Nightshade and Grimes were
the men, who for a consideration, "as Trapbois
would have said, were sure to find it out. In-
deed, so successful were their exertions to such
laudable ends, that had their course been as
protracted as it was brilliant, the tread-wheel
had rusted upon its axis, and the hangman,
without his perquisites, had starved upon his
pay They prospered, indeed; but theirs was the
uncoveted prosperity of the wicked, who have
been truly said to "flourish as a green bay
tree," for it hath poison and bitterness in its
leaves. The career of Nightshade was arrested
by a sudden and short illness; and the God
whom he had abandoned in his youth, forsook
him in his age. Hardened and profligate he
was, it is true, but he was not that fabled
monster, an infidel: like the devils, he believed
and trembled, and the aspen conscience was
ever restless in his bosom. To use his own
fearful expression in his parting moments, he
felt the cold grasp of the demon he had wor-
shipped upon his heart-strings, dragging him
down to that hell which he had purchased by
so many ruthless deeds and wasted years. The
vengeance of Heaven is sometimes slow, often
sudden, but always sure—a truth which re-
ceiv ed an awful confirmation in the death scene of
this godless, graceless man.

The death of Nightshade left Gilbert in un-
divided possession of the practice and the se-
cret of the forged deed. Grimes continued to
take care of the main chance, that is, to have
one hand on his own pocket, and the other on
his neighbor's. Genius, however, like his,
could not long remain without its reward. At
length attracted the notice of twelve honest
gentlemen, who, wisely deeming his own coun-
try too circumscribed a theatre for his talents,
kindly provided him with a more extended
one; and accordingly, the last passage which I
am enabled to record in the life of Gilbert
Ghrimes, was to Botany Bay. By some unfor-
tunate accident the forged deed came to light,
and although the evidence brought forward
upon the occasion was sufficient to procure res-
titution to the injured party out of Grimes's
ill gotten wealth, it did not affect his life He
arrived in his adopted country bankrupt in eve-
ry thing but character, which he could not lose,
inasmuch as he happened to be born without
one.

Nor, indeed, did he find the want of that
commodity in Australasia, the perfect state of
public morals in the colony doubtless being
such, that to take a character thither would be
to carry coals to Newcastle.